The period of starting pre-school education, kindergarten or, as it is more commonly used, kindergarten is a very important and sometimes difficult process for both the child and the parents.
The child is separated from his family for the first time, is in an environment with structured rules and social In this sense, it is giving its first important exam.
In order to find out which time is the right time to start kindergarten; Each child and family should be evaluated individually. However, in general, we can say that children are ready for this experience around the age of 3, as it is a period in which they can be with their peers, play games, and learn to obey the rules.
Of course, families start their children in school at an earlier age for some compelling reasons (such as the mother's obligation to return to work). They may remain in this situation. When deciding to start school, the child's general development assessment (language, motor, social-emotional development level) and whether the child has reached a sufficient maturity and skill level for school should be taken into consideration. In addition, family relationships (especially mother-child relationships), the family's perception of the child's first social experience, the environment in the nursery, the attitudes and attitudes of teachers and students are among the factors that affect the child's adaptation.
This little individual will receive education in his new school. They will establish new social relationships, make progress in many different fields, and get to know the world a little more. Most importantly, the majority of character development will be completed in the preschool period.
Regardless of the calendar age of the child, it is the biggest duty of parents and the school to try to ensure that the child gets through his first days in this new environment with the least tension and the highest harmony.
Things to do in the first days of the school adaptation process
In fact, we should also touch upon the process before the first day of school. Choosing a school is the most important and difficult part in this process. Choosing the right institution is of great importance in overcoming the first item in the school adaptation process, "the parent's trust in himself and the school." The most challenging issue in adapting to school is coping with children's "separation anxiety". are. The separation between mother and baby, which begins at birth, will gradually develop over the months and years, and the baby, whose self-confidence will develop with the progress of physical and emotional development, will become "individualized" and will be ready to separate one step more from the mother with each passing day. However, since the need for the mother does not end, the fear of losing her and the anxiety of abandonment will continue for a while. Starting school is a trigger for this anxiety to increase. The trick to dealing with anxiety is to establish "mutual trust". The child who is "left" at the nursery by his mother is reunited with his mother at the end of the day. Correct responses in this repetitive routine allow the child to trust the mother and be sure that she will come and get him again. In the short or long term, children will learn this routine. Before the child starts education in the nursery, visiting the institution once or twice, introducing him to his teacher, and visiting the surroundings together will be suitable for preliminary preparation. Going school-related shopping together and having the child choose some items while buying them can help the child like the idea of school.
The period when the child starts school should be a time when he/she is emotionally comfortable. Starting school immediately after illness, moving, divorce, or having a new sibling will be a source of extra stress for both the child and the family. Starting school in such a period may cause the child to cling more tightly to the mother and have difficulties in establishing a relationship with the teacher.
Saying goodbye for a short time when leaving the child at the nursery, starting with an hour in the first days if necessary and extending the time in the following days, allowing the child to take a favorite item or toy with him. These are steps that facilitate the adaptation process. In the first days, the mother can also participate in the games in the playroom and take her child to the toilet. As the days progress, the child realizes that he can get this help from his teacher and allows him to do it. At this stage, the mother should start to withdraw. During games played in the same room, the mother takes a step back and the child continues the game with the teacher. Over time, the mother gradually leaves the room and the child and the teacher are left alone. In the first days, expectations regarding food, sleep and service arrangements can be kept to a minimum. Regulations regarding these will be made in the 2nd or 3rd week. can be hung. The main goal for the first days is to complete the determined period in an enjoyable manner. Getting used to friends should come after getting used to the teacher. The teacher will help the child get used to his/her friends during the process. If the child has a special situation, it should be shared with the teacher first. For example; Like taking a child who has just started toilet training to the toilet every two hours.
Learning the teacher's name, talking about the teacher by name at home (teacher Ayşegül), and talking about the fun things she had with her teacher will increase trust and sincerity in the relationship with the teacher.
Mother. should not "disappear" from the child's side. He/she should say "goodbye" appropriately and leave without an exaggerated farewell. The mother – or the concerned parent – should not show excessive affection, kisses or tears while in the nursery with the child. Body language is as effective as words in giving confidence. The mother must also be ready and willing to separate from her child. Emotional conflicts should not be reflected on the child. When it comes time to pick up the child, you should not be late for school. When going home, positive memories should be emphasized and it should be explained that the next day will be more enjoyable.
The child should not be compared with his peers or siblings in terms of his reactions. At the end of the day, you can say words of praise to encourage him.
When we talk about separation anxiety, not only physical separation should come to mind. Children are afraid of many things that may happen to them in this new place: Will I get lost in this big place, what will I do when I go to the toilet, will other children hurt me, will the teacher like me, who will feed me when I am hungry, can I sleep without my mother? In order to make it easier to overcome all these questions, it is important that teacher-parent cooperation is at the highest level, and that the mentioned issues are paid as much attention as possible so that the child can establish a healthy communication with the teacher.
If your child refuses to go to school
Although there may be individual differences among children, it will take 2 to 4 weeks for your child to get used to his teacher, peers, new school environment and separation routines. During this period, sleep and eating It is natural for you to observe differences in the eating pattern or emotional reactions such as crying or addiction. After all, your child is facing his or her first serious social experience, and many are being separated from their families for the first time. During this period, you should be patient and understanding with your child, not disrupt your routines, and continue to have dialogues that support his/her self-confidence.
You should be in communication with the school when necessary and be able to act together.
Despite all your efforts, your child cannot overcome the problems of adaptation to school and the problems arise. If it is getting bigger, you can solve the problem by getting support from an expert.
Eating problems
Many parents, especially mothers, say, "my child does not eat, he is a picky eater, he has a full meal at meal time." They often use expressions such as "There is a struggle going on" when they encounter this problem.
First of all, it should be stated that eating is a basic need, just like sleeping, playing and going to the toilet. When the child is really hungry, he will express this need to get food. In the newborn baby, the need to be fed is expressed through crying. Over time, the baby grows, the frequency of feeding decreases, he gets used to eating at meal times rather than hourly, and begins to express his hunger through his behavior rather than by crying. As the growth rate of a 2-year-old child, who is transitioning from infancy to childhood, decreases, the amount of calories he needs to consume during the day and therefore the amount of food decreases, and therefore his eating habits begin to change and he begins to eat less at meals. At this stage, the freedom to eat that the child has is wanted to be taken away from the child with unfounded excuses such as the mother's "weight loss, inability to feed, her development is hindered, she is sick."
Mothers may think that their children will become stronger, healthier and even smarter by eating more. . However, a child who is fed unnecessarily and inappropriately may gain extra weight and problems such as diseases related to excess weight and being ridiculed by his/her friends because of being overweight may arise. Force-feeding can damage a child's mental health, causing him/her to reject food completely and even refuse to sit at the family table. It should not be forgotten that feeding is not a way of giving love. love your child The parent who wants to show his/her appearance should show this not only during meal times but throughout the day. Meal times spent like a match or a war cause the relationship between the child and the parent to deteriorate. Performing various acrobatics and using rewards or punishments to get the child to eat artificializes the natural eating process and makes it difficult for the child to acquire correct habits. It may even cause the child to refuse to eat completely. Having a big appetite and eating more than expected for his age can also give important clues about the child's psychology. Sometimes children may show excessive interest in eating due to stress, when they have difficulty expressing themselves, or when they expect attention from their parents. In this case, the factor causing the behavior should be investigated.
The following points should not be forgotten when arranging meals for children who refuse to eat:
First of all, the parent should be a model for the child, The family should be together at the table during dinner time.
Meal time should not be a time when family members argue at the table or talk about their problems, but should be a time when pleasant conversations are made.
Whatever causes the child to become angry during the day should be tried to be resolved by meal time. The child should be taught to resolve his/her anger towards his/her parent through other methods, not by refusing food during the meal.
When he expresses that he does not want to eat at the table, he should be told that he will not have the opportunity to eat another meal until the next meal, and he should be prevented from eating junk food between meals.
Television. It should be taught that it is necessary to eat by sitting at the table together at meal times, instead of feeding in front of the child in front of him, in the park, using toys or walking behind him.
For those who reject new foods, tasting them with just one sip should be considered a sufficient success.
Constantly adding the child to the plate. The portions should be small, as putting more than they can eat will cause each child not to be able to finish it and interpret it as a failure.
Read: 0
