If you have started to implement the suggestions in the first section, it means that you have probably started to take responsibility for your life. This process, which starts with our home, begins to spread to all areas of our lives, and you can begin to take the reins of your own life into your hands, by realizing how you are unknowingly responsible for matters that are not actually our fault.
Our whole life is surrounded by suffering. We constantly experience victimization due to situations that are not our fault. We complain about newspapers, television news, the people we are in contact with, our jobs, our families, weather conditions, politics, and hundreds of other reasons that I can list. If we want to understand and recognize our own sense of victimization, if you complain about even one of these, it means you are in victim psychology. So, if you say that the economic situation of the country is bad, that's why you are unemployed, broke, unhappy, you are in a victimization mentality.
In interviews with clients, I often think about the sentence structures they use. I am always amazed by their ability to find absolute blame or excuses for all the problems they experience when talking about their problems. I don't think I need to tell you how common this is to think and believe. We all fall into the victimization trap from time to time, and most of the time we jump into this trap consciously. If you are a victim, you are not responsible. There are things that others need to change, not you. Being in the victim box may make you feel comfortable at the first session, but when you look at the whole, you may not like to see that you are spending your life in the victim box.
While you are having a problem with a friend or thinking about a problem, stop and watch your thoughts and sentences for a second, without trying to change or correct them, just watch as an outside observer, without criticizing, judging, or even thinking about it, just as a silent observer, listen to yourself from afar. You say, who do you blame for daily events? Yes, beyond all this, although I am not saying that you are wrong, you are responsible for everything you experience.
Universal laws, which we are used to hearing frequently lately, are the laws of everything but It says that everything is connected to each other, you are life, everything starts and ends with you. You are responsible for the impact that the problems you experience with others have on you. It is very important to develop the ability to take conscious responsibility for the events we experience in order to get rid of the toxic effects of your problems on you, even if you are not at fault, even if you are just a witness to the event, and to take control of your life.
No thought, phenomenon or process exists on its own in the universe. Every idea is born with its opposite or similar. Every action, every thought of yours brings with it positive or negative consequences. Think of a woman who constantly complains about her problems, but at the same time, she receives constant attention and support from her environment and socializes. A process that seems fundamentally positive will also bring negativity with it. So, it is a fact that life problems that seem scary to you also have a profitable side. Children know this very well and even use this knowledge strategically. Like a child with a bad relationship between parents developing problematic behavior, or a couple experiencing frigidity complaining about sharing the same bed with their child. Problems that seem primary are actually secondary and cover up the other problem. There are gains you gain from your problems, and you keep postponing solving your problems, perhaps consciously or unconsciously, just to avoid giving up on these gains.
When you realize these secondary gain traps, your interpretation of your problems begins to change. Your closeness with yourself increases and your self-confidence improves. The mask you hide behind has been exposed, and now every time you wear that mask it starts to make you uncomfortable. As your awareness increases, your discomfort increases. These are the birth pains of your changing and renewing life. The only constant thing is death. You are creating a brand new life with your new life.
Change is known to be a painful process, but it often brings with it sad situations. Change is also the end and death of the old, it is painful. Whatever the process you are going through, rather than thinking of it as the end or loss, call it change transformation. Thinking will help you get through the process much more easily.
There is nothing more natural than a wave of sadness surrounding you when you initiate a cleansing, change, and renewal in your life. In fact, I would like to say that I even find this depressive state somewhat healthy. I'm not talking about a deep depression, I'm just talking about a process of coming to terms with the past and the past. I don't know of any other emotion that transforms a person as much as sadness. Although happiness, love, anxiety and fear are all very strong emotions, sadness probably changes us the most in our lives. When sadness comes, it seems to contain it all; regret, love, fear, anxiety. It is such a strong emotion that it can capture our entire being for a long time. Sadness makes people quiet and calm, as if it is what remains after everything. Sadness is what comes after everything. There is no emotion that matures a person more than experiencing a silent sadness. You listen to yourself because you see your own adventure in your own silence... It is said that people's entire lives flash before their eyes when they are on their death beds, being sad is like dying, a phase of reviewing your entire life... times of death in life... Most of the time, it is a loss that makes a person sad, the death of a loved one, the loss of a lover, The loss of a job will come to the end of something, it will disappear, that situation will end. Sad times are the time when the human soul needs to relieve its pain, learn from its mistakes, increase its awareness, and rest before starting a new era. As you shed the poison inside you with some tears, you confront yourself and your mistakes with regrets. The pain that burns you begins to ease over time, turning into an opportunity with the lessons learned, and the groundwork begins to be prepared for the life you will reshape. There is a saying that I like very much: "To be reborn from the ashes." People who can go through sadness, not those who run away from it, live a truly satisfying life.
Most people run away from sadness, they continue their miserable marriages just to avoid loss, and they get back to work in a job they don't like at all. For example, they continue with the fear of not finding it. They associate the issue with not being brave enough. Courage is not actually not being afraid of anything, on the contrary. It means crossing the border despite what you are scared to death of. There is no such thing as not being afraid, fear is a very natural human emotion, the main thing here is to make decisions despite fear. My father is probably one of the most daring people I have ever met in my life. But when he encounters a problem, his main fears are health-related, he usually goes through it all the way through despite all his fear and does the best he can without losing hope for a second, no matter how bad the outcome is. This life energy and the talisman that enables him to manage the most stressful and fearful processes in the most effective way is actually his ability to act despite the insane fear within himself. Courage is the power to act despite fear. My father is a brave man despite his life concerns, and everyone recognized him that way.
When you start taking responsibility for your life and get rid of victimization, even if you feel a little depressed and powerless from time to time, this is an indication that you are on the right track. Your mind and soul are at work on your behalf to provide you with the time you need and the motivation necessary for your change. Even if you are not aware of it…
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