Indifference Puts Marriages in Difficulty

“ My wife is no longer as interested as she used to be, doctor; He used to call three or four times a day and make surprises before coming home. He would hold my hand while walking on the street, and when we went to his mother's, he wouldn't even ask me to get up from the table. Now everything seems to have changed, I feel like my husband is getting further away from me day by day. It's like he doesn't desire me anymore, I was rejected a few times, which hurt my pride a lot. I'm constantly trying to understand why; Did I gain weight? We had a baby, did my breasts sag, does he find me boring? QUESTIONS, QUESTIONS? I have thousands of questions in my mind. “I don't know what to do.”

Many of the couples with these and similar complaints begin to experience these problems in the first years of their marriage, as in the example above. In fact, contrary to popular belief, couples moving away from each other due to daily preoccupations such as work, friends and children, the loss of the excitement, passion and magic of that first day, and the impoverishment of the sense of lust is not a problem but a natural process. If the differences in the nature of men and women are not understood correctly, the ups and downs experienced in marriage may cause major accidents.

72% OF WOMEN ARE COMPLAINERS

Sexual Health Institute Association In a survey organized by (CİSED) in Turkey; 3 thousand 290 married women were asked: "Do you think your husband desires you like the first day?" The question was asked, and 72 percent of the participants answered 'No' to this question. This striking result shows us that women who feel that they are no longer desired by their husbands at some point in their marriages and who are rejected in bed go through a considerable number of similar emotional states;

The woman who thinks that her marriage has become routine and she is no longer desired as much as before;

He blames himself first in this stage. "I'm ugly. My body is not attractive. She thinks, "I'm not as sexy as I used to be and I'm not enough for my husband."

She starts blaming her husband. 'He doesn't understand me, he doesn't listen. He says, 'He doesn't pay enough attention to me anymore'.

At this stage, a 'state of paranoia' begins, he thinks that his wife is cheating on him, that she is another woman.

Even further. goes and in the fourth stage, his wife is gay. He even suspects that there is a flood.

In this phase, he falls into depression, his feeling of inadequacy gradually increases.

The phase is the SELECTION phase; He will eitheraccept this situation, or get a divorce, or go to a therapist and try to understand what is really going on.

EARLY DIAGNOSIS SAVES MARRIAGE!

• The existing one. the option to ignore the problem and accept the situation as it is; Of course it will not be the right option. Because this option only ensures that the marriage lasts for a few more years, but with the unhappiness brought by the lack of resolution.
• The divorce option should be considered in marriages that do not work out even though a couple has done their best. However, the last thing that should be said is the word 'LET'S DIVORCE', which is now a word that comes out of young people's mouths so easily!
• The last option should actually be the first option, that is; It would be much more rational and solution-oriented to get to the roots of the problem and look at what is actually happening in this marriage.

For example; The root of the problem may lie in the man's anger and anger towards his wife. The man who is constantly criticized by his wife, never appreciated, compared to others, whose actions are disapproved of, is often contradicted, and constantly complained about, may have moved away from his wife due to his anger and anger towards her. When this situation is repeated many times, if the couple does not talk about this issue openly, the man may gradually bottle up his emotions and react with his behavior.

It should not be forgotten that the earlier the problems are detected, the more unscathed the relationship will be.

NOTE: Client stories have been changed in accordance with ethical principles.

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