Most people feel shy in certain situations, but in some cases, shyness can be so challenging that it can prevent a person from improving himself. According to Vilhauer (2016), shy people want to be close to others, but they are so afraid of being criticized and rejected that; They avoid social events. Fortunately, social skills, like other skills, can be improved over time.
Here are four ways to increase your own social effectiveness:
1. Plan.
One of the ways to reduce anxiety is to shift the thought from the fear of making mistakes to the plan of being successful.
Think about the things you have in common with other people at a social event, the topics you feel safe about. Create a strategy to avoid the situation in a possible worst-case scenario. Feeling in control will give you courage.
2. Focus on others.
At a social event, try to direct your focus away from yourself and towards others. Focus on people; Think about why you are in the same environment, their interests and hobbies. Being curious about these can be a good opportunity to open new topics. Being a listener can be good for you, and people like to talk about themselves.
3. Give yourself a role.
A person can feel professional and self-confident in areas where he is very successful and talented. Outside of these areas, they may not know what their roles are and may lose self-confidence. Having a role can make you feel better. For example, imagine your role is to be a good listener. Choose a job for yourself; How would it make you feel to make people feel good and welcome?
4. Soften your internal dialogue.
Shy people are often prone to harsh criticism of themselves. When you criticize yourself, you think others will criticize you in the same way. This situation can damage your self-confidence.
Be your own advocate. Think about the good qualities about yourself and prepare a defense through your “lawyer” against your critical inner voice. Tell him how valuable you are and that the most important thing is to love yourself. Remember that the more you try, the more your skills improve.
This If you think you cannot go through the process on your own, consider getting professional support.
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