Ellen Galinsky defines perspective taking as a social, emotional and intellectual skill in her book The Developing Mind. To understand another person's point of view, you need to be able to analyze the situation, make predictions about how the other person thinks and feels, remember your existing knowledge about that person, compare it with similar situations, and try to put your own emotions aside and feel and think like another person. So, in fact, we are talking about a complex process in which many functions of the brain are involved.
We humans are social beings and we live our lives in social relationships. Therefore, being able to take the perspective of others is a basic life skill for healthy relationships and a successful life. As a matter of fact, Ellen Galinsky expresses "perspective taking" as a basic life skill that children must acquire in their developmental journey.
Although children can make a rudimentary distinction between what belongs to them and what does not belong to them, even to a small extent, from their early childhood, they do not have the maturity necessary to fully understand that someone else has a different world of thoughts and feelings than themselves. They pass by the age of 4 on average.
Research has found that children who learn perspective taking have a clearer idea of what their teachers expect from them and thus adapt better to kindergarten. A child who has clearer ideas about what is expected from him and who has learned to take a perspective can analyze and adapt to the social, emotional and intellectual issues expected from him throughout his educational life. Again, research has shown that children who can take perspective have less aggressive tendencies than children who cannot take someone else's perspective. When we support children in acquiring the ability to see someone else's point of view and form opinions about them, we also support them in their ability to establish healthy relationships. But if you are wondering how we can teach children the skill of perspective taking, you can follow the suggestions below.
Children's "Point of View" How Can We Help Them Develop "Learning" Skills?
1. First of all, as adults who try to support children, apply the suggestions about perspective taking.
Children mostly learn by modeling Therefore, we, as adults, need to improve ourselves and be models for children about being able to take someone else's perspective and evaluate the world through their eyes.
2. Teach children to live together with others.
Teach our children to be individuals. Teaching them to be a part of a social group is as important as supporting their journey to become individuals. Therefore, we should also support them in acquiring the necessary skills to get together with other people.
3. Establish a warm and trusting relationship.
A secure relationship forms the basis for every child's ability to learn and explore freely. A child who can anchor himself in a warm and reliable relationship can try to see the world through someone else's eyes without losing his own center.
4. Make children feel seen and understood.
This title expresses the necessity of your effort, as an adult, to see the world through the child's eyes. As you try to see the world through their eyes and follow their rhythm, the child will develop their capacity to see the world from someone else's perspective. Children who grow up with adults who make an effort to know and understand themselves show more developed skills in healthy communication in the future. Otherwise, they will have difficulty communicating with other people when they become adults.
5. Talk about their feelings and yours.
We know that children blame themselves for many sad situations that happen around them. This is largely due to their lack of maturity in seeing the world through someone else's eyes. Therefore, it is very valuable to be able to share with them that you, as a human being, may experience difficult moments from time to time and your efforts to overcome these emotions. "Like you, sometimes I can have a difficult day. Like you, I have a difficult day. I need little time. A sincere sentence such as "I'll be better later" has a great contribution to a child's emotional development. Thus, he will see that you, as a human being, can also experience difficult emotions, and he will be able to normalize these emotions when he experiences them. In addition, he will understand that the difficult emotions he feels about you are not his fault, and as a human being, he will be able to experience difficult emotions. He or she will have learned through experience and in dialogue with you that coping is perfectly normal for all of us.
6. Encourage them to think and talk about others' perspectives during daily experiences.
Supporting this skill is a It is possible during daily conversations, activities and pursuits where we try to understand someone else's feelings and thoughts. Even forming an opinion about a child you see crying in the park and starting a conversation such as "why do you think he is crying" means supporting your child's skills in seeing the world through someone else's eyes.
7. Use discipline towards others.
This skill is about thinking and developing awareness about the impact of our behavior on others. Needless to say, it is important for adults to provide appropriate role models in this regard. Thinking about the impact of behavior on someone else allows the individual to improve in listening to others and acting more thoughtfully.
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