Is there anyone among you who has not been insanely jealous of someone at a certain point in their life?
There are people who are jealous not only for a certain period, but throughout their life. Although jealousy is a natural emotion, if it affects a person's life and disrupts the person's functionality in close relationships, it may be useful to understand the reason and evaluate it in detail.
So why do we get jealous?
•A boy in the oedipal period (3-6 years old) sees his mother as a The daughter may also make the father her lover and feel intense close feelings towards him. This is a normal process and will pass with time. However, if the mother and father treat their child as if they were their lover, kiss the child on the lips, sleep in the same bed with the child, call the child my love, my lover, etc. If he says, these behaviors may not be good for the child.
A boy who makes his mother a lover develops an unconscious hostility towards his father, and a girl who makes her father a lover develops an unconscious hostility towards her mother. (see; Oedipus/Electra complex)
Because the man/woman he made his lover is with someone else and belongs to someone else.
•When this child grows up and becomes an adult, his mind repeats the same three-way relationship.
He cannot marry his own wife from anyone else. Can be extremely jealous of a man. Or a woman can immediately write scenarios of being cheated on in her mind, even if her husband talks very little with another woman.
•Actually, it is not the adult part that writes the scenarios and is jealous of her partner, but the part of her that was jealous of one parent over the other when she was little.
•If there are jealous people in the family and when we were little, If we have witnessed too many events related to jealousy, we may have modeled the feeling of jealousy from others. •Another reason is the need to feel special. Every person has the need to feel special. However, people who prevent this need from being met can create a feeling of jealousy along with intense anger in us.
So, how do we get out of this situation?
If we make our partner a mother/father, we must re-teach this to our minds with parsing sentences. . The same distinction applies to the people we model. (My mother is someone else, my wife is someone else, My mother is not my spouse. / My father is someone else, my spouse is someone else. My father is not my spouse) ? ' and often does the first thing that comes to his mind, he will not need anyone else to repair his need to feel special.
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