There are some points you need to pay attention to if you want to be happy in the journey called marriage that starts with two people, solidify the foundations and move towards a long relationship...
1) Talk to each other: State clearly what you expect from your partner, what your demands and wishes are. While doing this, be non-critical, non-blaming, insulting, non-derogatory, or defensive. MAKE conversations with your partner ROUTINE, no problem. For example, you can do this once or twice a week at a mutual meal or during an activity that both parties enjoy. Even if you think it is unnecessary at first and you have thoughts such as "If there is no problem, why will we do it", keep doing it. You will both spare time for each other in the daily rush and experience the feeling of relaxation and understanding of being listened to by someone in the long run.
2) Don't try to change: One of the mistakes that spouses make to each other, resulting in unhappiness for both parties, is to try to change the other person. In fact, sometimes people get married with thoughts such as "It will get better when I get married, I will change it". One of the spouses the other; he tries to transform him into the person of his dreams, in other words, into the mate model he WANTs to be. For example, he may have requests and expectations from his wife that may be difficult to fulfill, or he may ignore and insult her for this reason. In the end, both parties become unhappy.
3) Put yourself in his shoes: Try to see things through his eyes. Let him tell you what he feels, what he goes through. If you were in his place, what would you do, would you act differently? Try to get rid of your own thoughts and personality and look at things with his thoughts, personality traits and skills, and ask yourself once more, "HOW WOULD I ACT IF I WAS HIS". Investigate HOW OTHERS HAVE BEEN BEHAVIOR in the face of similar events, and as you do so, look out for examples that turned out the way you imagined. ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THERE MAY BE OTHER TRUTHS IN life OTHER THAN YOUR OWN.
4) Idea month Acknowledge that they may have differences: Spouses often want to agree on a problem or issue that they are arguing with, and continue the discussion until they reach a consensus. This situation can continue as both parties try to resolve the issue, only one side tries to solve it and the other side runs away, or both sides run away. As a matter of fact; It is NORMAL to have DIFFERENCES in the union of two people who have been brought up in different families and have different personality traits, and sometimes it enriches the conversation and provides the opportunity to look at events from different angles. If it does not seem possible to reach a consensus on a topic under discussion, it may be a good way not to prolong the discussion and to GIVE a little break.
5) Find out the details about him: Research what he likes and dislikes. You can get help from a friend or get information about her childhood from her mother or a family member in a chat environment. One way is to ask him directly. Don't stand in a corner silently saying "I know how". Because; THE WORST THING you can do for your relationship is TO STOP STRIVE. On the other hand; Do not forget that tastes, wishes, preferences and expectations may change over time. Take a look for yourself: What has changed in your life in the last year? In addition, strengthening communication with your spouse and people connected to your spouse will be good for both you and your relationship.
6) Say the positive things you think about your partner: Some couples usually prefer to talk 'when there is a problem'. The words that come out of their mouths are often expressions that express negative aspects about each other. INSTEAD, VOICE POSITIVE POSITIONS about your partner. You know, there are times when you have that smile on your face or when you feel peaceful looking into your eyes! Don't keep what's on your mind at that moment. Do not be afraid, your spouse will not be spoiled! It is sometimes thought of in a similar way for children: "If I show my love, it will be spoiled". ON THE CONVERSATION, a person who feels loved and valued becomes happy, feels safe and reflects the same feelings around him.
7) Show understanding, be patient n: Things that are important to you may not be important to your spouse. Identify such topics. Talk about what you can do. For example, make a plan for time spent together or not. Children, moving, financial issues, sexual problems, etc. Do not rush the issues that need to be decided, listen to your mutual wishes and expectations and be patient. FACING THE PROBLEM, not each other, is very important in terms of making better decisions and less damage to the relationship.
8) Create joint activities: Instead of doing the activities you enjoy, doing what your spouse enjoys as well, creating environments for this, and most importantly making an effort, will be beneficial in terms of strengthening your relationship. . Perhaps something you never wanted to do at first will be very enjoyable for you, or you will be happy just to do something for someone.
9) Plan for the future of the relationship: Discuss your relationship PAST, TODAY and TOMORROW. 'How far have you come', 'What stages did you go through', 'What might be waiting for you in the future' and 'What could be the solutions when these happen' etc. Discuss issues and generate alternatives. Because to be prepared in advance on some issues; it will help you to have a more relaxed and calm attitude towards problems, to produce more appropriate solutions and ultimately to be more peaceful and happy. Otherwise, you could waste time and put yourself and your relationship in danger by reacting inappropriately and exaggeratedly. A ROADMAP REGARDING THE RELATIONSHIP WILL ENSURE YOU COMFORTABLY ON A JOURNEY THAT STARTS WITH TWO PEOPLE.
10) Communicate well: Learn and practice effective communication skills. Because sometimes what we think of as communication may not do anything but make things more difficult. At this point; getting help from an expert can be helpful for partners to understand each other better, solve problems or just talk. REMEMBER, just as a medical problem requires getting help, psychological problems also require help, and in this way faster and more effective results are obtained.
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