We know that some children form bonds with certain objects since infancy. They exhibit behaviors such as not sleeping, eating, or going out apart from them. For example, some children could not sleep without their mother's gauze or without feeling her scent. If they couldn't find it, they would cry for hours. We can see similar examples around many of us. So what is the reason for these behaviors and how normal is it?
Babies establish their first communication with their mothers. The mother breastfeeds the child, holds him in her arms, cleans his diaper, puts him to sleep, etc. During the activities, interaction and bonding occurs between mother and child. This attachment is basically divided into three.
Secure attachment: When the caregiver (mother) is with the child, the child is comfortable and continues to explore his/her surroundings. He is restless and cries when the caregiver is not around. Individuals with this attachment style tend to view themselves and others positively. They value close relationships and are successful in initiating and maintaining such relationships.
Ambivalent/anxious attachment: They develop excessive and inconsistent responses to the caregiver's stimuli and presence. Those who show this type of attachment feel angry towards the caregiver and cannot explore freely.
Anxious/avoidant attachment: These children avoid contact with the caregiver and direct their attention to objects and toys. When the caregiver is not around, they do not cry and continue playing.
These differences in the attachment molele play a determining role in character traits and future communication.
Children, who then begin to explore their surroundings, come into contact with objects (toys). During this contact, children; They first recognize and become attached to these objects based on the sound and smell of the object. Then the color, shape, softness, size, etc. of the items. Selectivity develops accordingly.
Therefore, this attachment that children establish with caregivers and objects is effective in every part of their lives. Although the form and duration of attachment vary characteristically, attachment occurs in almost every child. After a while, attachment can become a habit in children.
The figures to which children attach may vary. These differences It is caused by the child's caregiver, environment, life experiences and the child's structural characteristics. For example, children who have an anxious attachment to their mothers develop a sleeping pattern by contacting their mothers at night (holding her hair, holding her hand). Another example is that sleeping with toys of imaginary heroes that are constantly played with or taken as an example is common in preschoolers. The differences in the selected samples stem from their color, smell, softness and constant exposure.
Sometimes, this devotion can continue until very old ages. And it especially negatively affects the mother's social life. So, what should be the attitude of families towards this addiction of the child?
Children who are overly attached may experience lack of self-confidence, separation anxiety, school refusal, generalized anxiety disorder in later ages. Various problems such as obsessive compulsive disorder, specific phobias can be seen. The problems mentioned above are common, especially in children who show a pathological attachment pattern with the caregiver (mother). In addition, studies have shown that children who show excessive attachment to caregivers and objects in the preschool period have an increased risk of using alcohol and drugs in later life. In addition, these children are also more likely to encounter problems in their family life in the future. Considering all these, it is necessary to make efforts to develop healthy attachment in children from an early age.
For this reason, excessive attachment to the caregiver or objects (toys) should be prevented. In this regard, starting from the age of 3-4, children should be encouraged to communicate more with their environment, discover new things and add new colors to their lives. For example, it may be beneficial to change or differentiate the items used and to enable the mother to spend time with other people (especially her peers).
If these habits continue into older ages and cause negativities in the life of the child or family, an expert should be consulted and help. should be taken.
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