Despite alternative lifestyles today, the nuclear family model still maintains its place as the ideal structure that the majority of people strive to achieve. Apart from the fact that the place of women in the family and the place of men in working life is protected, the central importance of children and their upbringing is also an important factor in the continuation of this structure. However, when we look at the divorce statistics, we see that the divorce rates are increasing day by day, the age of marriage is increasing, the number of years of marriage is decreasing, and almost most of the divorces start to occur within the first five years; while many people are trying to live according to this ideal, they are not satisfied or questioning whether this model is suitable for them. suggests that it is in the foreground. Perhaps it is time to ask whether our family ideal itself is the cause of unhappiness today. Considering that even admitting that it does not suit oneself in the individual world, let alone talking about it between couples, causes them to feel guilty, most people can make their lives unhappy with family myths that are considered true, rather than asking themselves this question or deviating from the family ideal. Most of these myths are child-focused.
Nowadays, people have serious problems with their identities, and there seems to be no clear ideal they can take as an example. Changing economic conditions and the new position of women also play an important role in this uncertainty. Nowadays, men have long ceased to be the ones who meet the basic needs of the family and are indispensable. While the decrease in differences between genders eliminates sexual attraction, it is also the most important factor that makes newly established relationships last. Men are worried, women are not safe. However, while our most basic spiritual need is to be securely attached to someone, this has become almost impossible and we are in a state of freedom where we do not know what to do...
During a coffee break with colleagues, while discussing the increasing number of divorces, that moment that I had never consciously thought about before came out of my mouth: The following sentences come to my mind: “The best life partner is perhaps our fellow human beings”… What is meant here is not that the sexual orientation has shifted to the same sex, but that the same sex can understand the unfulfilled emotional gaps much better. To be able to trust their IP relationships more. Perhaps, in the coming years, we will be able to satisfy our need for secure attachment with members of the same gender and receive emotional support from them; We will start to see the opposite sex only as mother/father and we will be in a relationship where they share the management of a company. Or, while we are tossed around with our freedom that we do not know what to do with, we will try to meet our basic spiritual needs with our children, seek the meaning of life in them, and at the same time try to survive. It is very difficult to accept, but perhaps the way to reduce our existential concerns that cover our soul is to talk about alternative lifestyles, to make it possible to make a new choice by taking into account global developments, the place of men and women in society and economy, and religious values. Men are worried, women are not safe. But the most basic spiritual need of both of them is the same “secure attachment”… They will continue to try, there will be relationships, albeit in different forms.
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