Social development processes consist of psycho-social development, social skills and social problem-solving skills. An individual's acquisition of social development processes positively affects his or her social development. Social skills are learned behaviors that enable a person to initiate and maintain communication with others. Social skills require the child to acquire skills such as positive interaction with other individuals, communication, listening, maintaining attention, and following instructions, with which he can successfully meet the expectations in his environment. Psychosocial development is the process of the individual developing sensitivity to the social stimuli, rules and obligations of group life, and as a result, becoming compatible with the people in the environment he lives in. Social problem solving is the self-directed cognitive and behavioral processes that enable a person to identify problems encountered in daily life or to find effective solutions or to adapt. Problems will begin as soon as the child begins social life. Therefore, we need to be patient regarding the problems our children face. We must encourage our children and give them the opportunity to solve their own problems. Children who are encouraged by their parents to find solutions to the social problems they experience are more willing to find solutions. He finds the opportunity to use his knowledge and skills. The biggest help we can give them in this regard is to support them in developing their perspective on solving their problems.
When we encounter a problem, some of us try to solve it by dealing with it calmly, while some of us think that the problem is like a burden on our shoulders. and gives up instead of solving the problem. Our approaches to this situation are affected not only by our temperament, but also by the education our family gives us. Problem-solving skills acquired at a young age play a major role in helping children shape their own decisions in their later years. Mothers and fathers generally try to intervene and solve problems themselves to prevent their children from encountering or having to deal with problems at a young age. However, although this situation seemingly distances the child from the problem, it does not help the child progress. It causes him to encounter other problems in his life at work. The child grows up without learning how to solve problems and make decisions with his own control and is constantly dependent on someone else's decisions, but one day when he has to make his own decisions, he does not know what to do and gets stuck.
Solution of social problems often involves being responsible to others. It depends on acceptance and understanding. Children who are encouraged by their parents to find solutions to these difficulties, instead of waiting for others to judge the difficulties they face, find an opportunity to use their knowledge, understanding and skills while trying to do the work required by the current problem. Thus, problem solving accelerates the development of the child's abilities, self-esteem and self-confidence, as well as his development as an individual.
Problem-solving activities not only enable children to make decisions about how to achieve the goal, but also provide adults with the opportunity to learn something from children. By observing children solving problems and carefully listening to the questions they ask, one can understand what the child is thinking. Problem-solving opportunities give adults opportunities to understand children's thoughts and realize new connections-relationships systems.
Parental attitudes are effective in the development of the child's problem-solving skills, as in all areas of development. . Providing and developing opportunities for the child to establish healthy, correct relationships with both members of the family, peers and other people in later life are shaped by the attitudes and behaviors of the parents. The child has to learn how to behave towards others and how to cope with the difficulties he encounters in society. The responsibility of setting a suitable example in this area and shaping the child's social behavior falls on the family.
? Be sure to listen to your child in case of a problem and try to understand his needs and wishes.
? Show your child whether you understood them correctly by summarizing their thoughts.
? When your children encounter a problem, they either attempt a solution. They either complain or ignore the problem and avoid dwelling on it. You should encourage your children and give them the opportunity to solve their problems themselves.
You need to support them in developing their perspective on solving their problems. Instead of directly telling him the solution, you should make the child think by asking them open-ended questions. ''What happened?" , “What is the problem?”, “What happened before ............. happened (e.g. he/she yelled at you)?”, “When ............. happened (for example, how did you feel when he yelled at you)?", "What happened when you ........ (for example, when you complained about him to his mother)?", "When you ........ (complained) What might he have felt?", "What was the result after you ........ (complained)?" What else could you have done?”, “Do you think doing ……….(complaining about him to someone else) is a good idea?” (If you think it is a suitable idea, you can say, “Then you can try this.”), “Do you think this is a suitable place / appropriate time to ............ (to complain about him)?” ”, “Can you think of a more suitable time for this?” etc. You can encourage him to find a solution with questions and encourage him to think about the issue. With such conversations, the child is directed to think about the reasons for his own behavior, the effects of his behavior on others, and the possible consequences of his behavior.
Thus, The child will experience the consequences of the decisions he makes and find different solutions for the next one. In such cases, we talk about the results and ask, "What can we do to get better results?" or “How can you act differently next time?” Questions such as these may be asked. They can be made to think about developing different alternatives or different perspectives.
? Talk to each other about your child's feelings and needs. Try to find solutions by brainstorming with your child and write down all the ideas that come to your mind on a piece of paper with your child, review your list together and find the most suitable solution.
? Give your child small responsibilities so he can have some time for himself. You increase your confidence. A child who has self-confidence will be more comfortable when dealing with problems.
? Ask your child about his/her own opinions, and after learning his/her opinions, try to understand why he/she thinks that way. A child who can express his ideas freely will be able to understand the importance of his own decisions when solving problems and will try to solve the problem with his own decisions.
? Create a problem-solving environment in your home through family meetings and by showing your children how you solve real problems in your own life. During this process, your children may have the opportunity to discuss a problem if they wish.
? Read various books to your child and ask questions about the characters in the book. For example, the character in the book has encountered a problem, and you ask your child, "What would you do if you were in his place?" you may ask. Thus, you give your child the opportunity to think about different problems.
Taking on your child's problems, protecting or removing them from environments where problems may arise, trying to make the environment problem-free in advance, and solving the problem on their behalf. However, although this seemingly distances the child from the problem, it does not prevent him from experiencing different problems and causes him to encounter many problems that he cannot solve in his future life. This makes children dependent on their parents and negatively affects the development of their problem-solving skills. Believe and trust your child. Support him with love and confidence so that he can succeed and go beyond his abilities. You are a model for your children in problem solving, as in everything else. Children are not very willing to adopt other people's solution suggestions. If children come up with the solution themselves, they are more likely to put it into practice. They learn problem solving through experience, and by solving their problems, they can increase their self-confidence and improve their ability to express their thoughts and defend themselves.
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