“ Life is so difficult... I don't enjoy anything. I wake up unhappy in the morning. I'm doing something, but it doesn't give me the same joy as before. Setbacks and difficulties never leave me in my business life. The situation in the country is not getting better and I am getting more worried. I'm worried about my future. Doing the same activities with my friends bores me now. There are problems between me and my family. I think they don't understand me. My personal life has become a mess and I don't know how to get back on track. It seems like every day, everything gets worse. I need to change something but I don't have enough strength. I have an unhappiness that I don't know the reason for. I have been feeling uneasy for a very long time.”
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When you read this paragraph, I can almost hear you saying 'yes' to one or more of them. So, are we all really depressed?
Lately, we hear and use the word depression very often in our daily lives. A perception has begun to emerge around us as if everyone is depressed, so much so that there are people diagnosing each other, giving advice, and even recommending medication. I think we need to increase our awareness of this issue, which is very important for our mental health.
The examples I gave above are some of the negative thoughts and comments that almost all of us think of during the day. There may be times during the day as well as from time to time that we think about these negative thoughts a lot. Getting our lives in order is not an easy task and because of the yeast of life; Problems will continue as long as we exist. The important thing is how we perceive them, the way we meet them, and learning to strengthen our coping skills. To do this, we can start by correctly evaluating the emotional changes we experience and getting to know ourselves.
The criteria we define as depressive symptoms actually emerge here. The increase in our feelings such as hopelessness, unhappiness and malaise from time to time is called 'depressive state'. As can be seen from the examples above, we sometimes show depressive symptoms and feel depressed amidst challenging living conditions. These symptoms fluctuate and appear in an irregular pattern. Our throne will come out. For this reason; Being in a depressed mood is not the same as being diagnosed with depression. Depression; It is a serious mood disorder that deeply affects human life and requires intervention if a definitive diagnosis is made. According to the DSM-5 diagnostic criteria used in psychiatry, within at least 2 weeks; Loss of energy, lack of interest in continuous activities, reluctance, procrastination, being angry and tense, tiredness, exhaustion, feeling useless due to feelings of worthlessness and guilt, sleep and eating problems can be shown as symptoms of depression. The biggest difference from a depressive mood is that the emotions and thought processes are felt more deeply and functionality in daily life is almost completely lost. Individuals in a depressed mood, on the other hand, continue their daily lives while experiencing feelings such as distress, tension, and reluctance. However, unfortunately, saying that we are not depressed is not enough to make things better immediately. While feeling depressed, you may experience depression pains and it may become difficult to put things in order. So what are we gonna do? Will we continue our lives as unhappy and hopeless individuals who complain about everything to everyone around us?
First, we will start with acceptance. We will try to accept ourselves and our problems as they are. We will accept that everyone experiences negative thoughts and emotions from time to time and that we are equipped to handle these problems. We will love ourselves.
Then we will reveal the situations that we can change, one by one. We will try different ways. We will try to think differently. We will realize that complaints such as "I think about my problems day and night, but they don't work, everything finds me" are of no use and that these complaints are far from a solution. Maybe we always look at our problems from the same point of view, maybe we got lost in the maze while trying to find a solution... We will improve our tolerance level for the situations we cannot change. Not everything in life may be the way we want it to be. I'm sure everyone would love it; have a magic wand; Let him fix every negative situation he touches. But we do not have such a magic wand yet, and we need to tolerate more than anything else when necessary. We will not forget.
Things will not always go well, I admit sometimes it will not be easy. As problems weigh more heavily on us, we will have less motivation to solve them. But we came to this world once. We will accept the right and the wrong, the sin and the good, and live solution-oriented. For example, we will load our energy tanks. My energy source is the people I love. To be with them, to spend time with them, to have fun when necessary, to feel sad when necessary, but to share everything; It is my energy store that I cannot give up in life. Wait a minute and make a list. Discover your energy stores. If it's one of your family members, run and hug him. If you want to get involved in nature, take yourself to the nearest park. If the smell of cake in the house will give you peace of mind, prepare the eggs in the kitchen. The important thing is to believe that events and thoughts can change and to start walking towards this, even if it is small steps. So, what do you mean by this small step? Whatever our problem is, it has become a huge mountain and we are expected to get to the other side of the mountain. We don't know how and where to start. You know, as they say; 'Once I start, the rest will follow...', this is exactly where our small but significant steps come into play. First, you should take that first step that will not tire you. Focus on your first step, not the entire problem. By adding a new one every day, one day you will see that you are halfway there. Rather than lying in bed thinking about the problem, having nightmares and waking up tired and exhausted in the morning, we should find out what that first step is and start walking.
After reviewing all this, if you think that the situation is much more serious for you, you do not have enough energy to even start walking with small steps. If you feel that you are not feeling well, if you are constantly having the same negative thoughts rather than passing through them during the day, and if you cannot handle your daily tasks, please do not hesitate to consult a specialist. Remember, depression is a treatable disorder. Perhaps what you need is to be listened to without questioning, without judgment, to share your burden, to be understood and to gain new perspectives. We are breathing and there is a new day ahead of us. Then it's time to touch ourselves, not tomorrow but right now...
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