Hi,
I hope you are safe. Since February 6, 2023, we have been in a deep shock as a country. Even those who did not experience the earthquake directly or experienced it with a slight shaking can be seen as intense anxiety. This is a very normal and usual situation that we call secondary trauma. Even though we are not in the earthquake zone, there are many images that we watch and are exposed to. Our emotional reactions, which may depend on most of the events we have experienced individually, may differ during these periods:
In these periods, we may want to distance ourselves from the news completely, we may not be able to stop following the news. We can experience many emotions such as fear, hope, anger, helplessness, sadness. We may feel uncomfortable with our efforts to move on with life and our routines. It is very common for you to be saying, "Am I going to do this when people are like that?" Even when we eat, take a shower, and get cold outside, we may think of people in the earthquake zone and feel guilty. We may not be able to sleep, we may feel like our hearts are squeezing, we may feel the need to constantly check the lights, we may lose our focus, we may find ourselves laughing and feeling emotional all of a sudden. We may be doing things that we used to do with ease right now with difficulty. Or maybe we just want to seem like we don't care at all about what's going on around us. While you may be displaying many behaviors that are the result of secondary trauma like this, remember that you are showing normal and usual responses to an abnormal situation. This is the best way you know to deal with this period. So please allow yourself to go through this process. Do whatever you need. Don't blame yourself.
How will this psychology go?
As you go through this process, turn to yourself and ask: How does watching so much news affect me? do i need a break? Taking a break doesn't mean you're leaving the agenda. If you can return to your old routines as much as possible, albeit slowly or incompletely, you can get through this process in a healthier way. Do not blame yourself while doing this, do not be ashamed. If we want to be useful to others, we must first be useful to ourselves. Many kind-hearted people today He brought aid to the victims, supported them, and many of them became homes for them. Look, this process is very delicate. In this process, psychological first aid is very important, not psychotherapy. Anyone can do psychological first aid. The Turkish Psychological Association has very comprehensive information on this subject. I suggest you follow.
“LOOK- LISTEN - CONNECT” says psychological first aid. Take a look first! You have to protect and take care of physical needs such as security, care, privacy. Does he want anything? Does it need anything? Saying "If you need anything, feel free to tell me, I'm here for it" will be sufficient at the first point. Don't be an Israeli. Beware that you can do harm with the instinct to help too much. In order to create a sense of privacy for the people you take into your homes and go to help, create safe spaces for them. It is necessary to have the feeling of "You are safe here". It is very important that you click on the door or the tent and call out to them. If they have items they can bring with them, allow them to prepare their own corner. You can create routines that you will do at certain times every day. Activities done at the same time, such as meal time and walking time, will prepare them for the outside world more easily. If they want to help you with your work at home or in the field, please don't be a hindrance. Being involved in field/housework chores will activate them and increase their ability to cope with stress. It enhances the sense of belonging. In this case, the most important point is please do not ask any questions just because you are curious. Just indicate that they can tell if they need it, if they want to share it. Make sure to have a warm and understanding tone while you take every step.
Well, I hear you say what's going to happen guys, it's no coincidence that the article starts with an adult focus. We need to put the oxygen mask on ourselves first so that we can help more. No matter how much you think you do not reflect on your children, children feel the panic atmosphere very well, especially during such periods. "My mom doesn't normally watch TV shows at this hour, my dad is constantly calling someone on the phone. “When you do something different from your routine, kids feel it right away. Moreover, children under the age of 12 do this on their own. He may think that he is giving a bill. For this reason, it is necessary to explain everything that happens to children in a clear and understandable language according to their age and level of perception. Otherwise, a child under the age of 12 may think that there is an earthquake because he is misbehaving today.
It may be possible to explain the earthquake more easily with toys by drawing. “This is a natural phenomenon, there are fault lines under the ground. These fault lines can break from time to time and this is called an earthquake. A simple statement such as "We may shake with the effect of the earthquake, buildings without security measures may collapse" will suffice. You do not need to provide encyclopedic information. Even if you answer your child's questions as "I don't know anything about this subject, but let's investigate together", it makes him feel that you are interested in your child's concerns. Thus, the child looks at his parents and says, "Mom and dad are also worried, but they can talk about it. So if I'm worried, I can ask them questions about it too." That's why it's very important not to lie to the child, not to let it go. It is very important that you emphasize that he is safe here and that it is not his fault, that you cannot know beforehand, but that you can take precautions. When you give clear and reliable answers, the child feels more reliable and the outside world through the parent figure. Otherwise, unfortunately, the child may punish himself.
Let's wrap it up with a topic that is common with adults. ''Making room for emotion''
Don't cry, there is nothing to be afraid of, it should not be said that there is something worse. At the bottom of the pyramid comes security needs, like showing compassion if it feels good. Just as an adult needs to talk about this subject for hours, a child can put up and knock down blocks for hours. We must not say enough is enough. Maybe she needs it. It's important to make room for whatever he needs. When we say oh wow, when we feel pity, we sabotage what we call post-traumatic growth. Not everyone experiences post-traumatic stress disorder. With support and resources, it can get stronger and stronger.
I hope that with the right support and resources, we, as a country, will grow out of this trauma.
My dear country, where we are good for each other, be entrusted to God.
p>With love
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