Child Psychiatry Specialist Dr. Zeynep Gülçin Yıldırım said that calm, cooperative and consistent behavior is more effective against the rebellious and defiant child.
Expert. Dr. Zeynep Gülçin Yıldırım gave information about what needs to be done for rebellious and defiant children. Dr. Yıldırım said, “From time to time, many children may go against their parents' wishes. The purpose of this is to test their parents' expectations and limits. It is also a way for children to learn and discover their own selves, express their individuality and gain a sense of autonomy. They spread their wings of independence and discover the limits of their parents' rules and their own self-control. But sometimes these conflicts start to happen quite frequently and after a while they become the only way of parent-child communication and parents cannot have a single interaction with their children in which they do not experience conflict. Oppositions can arise for various reasons. Sometimes, they can be caused by unrealistic parental expectations. In some cases, conflicts between parents, stress factors within the family, and problems experienced by the child at school may trigger oppositional behavior. "Sometimes it may be related to the temperament of the child," he said.
"Evaluate your family's situation closely."
Zeynep Yıldırım gave the following information: "If you have a child who is chronically defiant; Consider possible causes of his inner turmoil and rebelliousness. Evaluate your family's situation especially closely. How much respect do family members show to each other? Do they respect each other's privacy, ideas and personal values? How are conflicts resolved in your family? Can problems be resolved through mutual conversation, or do family members regularly argue violently or resort to violence? How do you discipline your child? Can you solve your problems through democratic means? Do you yell, insult or resort to violence towards your child? Is your family going through a stressful time? Is your child having trouble doing well in school or developing friendships? If your child's oppositional behavior has started recently, talk to him/her and tell him/her that you have noticed a recent change in his/her behavior. Tell him that you feel it is because he is unhappy or struggling. With your child's help, try to identify the specific reason for their frustration or defiance. "This is the first step in helping your child change his behavior," he said. Remember you are playing. If you react to your child's disobedience by getting angry, losing control, and yelling, he or she will respond to you with disrespect and even more disobedience. On the contrary, he will be more harmonious when you remain calm, cooperative and consistent. He will learn to be respectful if you are respectful to him and others. If your child gets out of control, take a break until he calms down and regains self-control. Do not forget to praise your child when he/she listens and does not become stubborn. "Praising positive behaviors is always more effective than punishing negative behaviors," he said.
When to get help?
Talking about when to get help, Specialist said. Dr. Zeynep Gülçin Yıldırım said: “In some cases, for children who are defiant, you may need to get a professional opinion from a child and youth psychiatrist. Some situations where getting help is necessary are as follows: If your child has a chronic problem due to oppositional attitudes and behaviors both at school and at home; If your child continues to behave the same way despite all your efforts to understand your child's negative emotions and enable him to express them in the right ways; If your child has aggressive behavior as well as defiance and/or disrespect; if a child shows signs of general unhappiness—feeling sad, unhappy, unmotivated, feeling unloved, even expressing a desire to die, etc.; If disagreements in your family are tried to be resolved with emotional abuse or violence; If you or your spouse or child uses alcohol or other drugs to cope with conflict, stress, and/or to feel better, seek professional help. It will be appropriate. Solving these problems at a young age will help minimize or even prevent more serious problems that may arise during your children's adolescence. The importance of early diagnosis and treatment should not be forgotten.”
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