If you are on an ice rink, there is a possibility that you may slip and fall and you should be cautious, falling is an expected situation. However, you cannot predict a bullet hitting the window while you are sitting at home or a purse snatcher trying to take your bag while walking on the road. In these events that I mentioned, there is a threat to the person's own life and the life of his loved ones, as well as trauma...
So, is everyone affected by an event to the same extent?
If we think of two brothers in the same car, what they experience is a big deal. While one person may survive as a result of a traffic accident, for another, this accident may mean an attempt on his life and the person may be traumatized. While it may take a week for some individuals to get over the shock of a traumatic event, it may take 1 year or more for others. People do not give the same reactions to the same event in the same time period, because each individual's perceptions and past experiences are different. Research shows that children who have developed secure attachment are more able to cope with traumatic events in a shorter time.
So, are the only major events in our lives what we call trauma?
A big earthquake can cause many traumas. While it is a traumatic event for a person, constant criticism and humiliation such as "you can't do it, you are stupid" to a child with learning disabilities create permanent traumas in our lives.
When we look at the reactions that occur after trauma in children;
We can see reactions such as reluctance to activities, fear, anxiety, nightmares, excessive baby-like behavior, tantrums, sudden startle reactions, hypersensitive following of parents, obsessively repetitive events, unexplained stomach headaches, sleep disorders, and hyperactivity. It should be noted that when it comes to hyperactivity, the first thing that comes to mind is attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. However, this sudden activity does not indicate a lack of attention. When telling the child's story to the specialist who receives help, the time and process of its emergence should be specified. These states of restlessness are acute if they last less than three months, and chronic if they last three months or more.
A traumatic event affects not only the person exposed to the event but also other individuals around them. It also affects the male. While it is recommended to get help from an expert in such a situation, the parents' responsibility is to:
Give the child the opportunity to express himself, not to judge the child,
Not to blame the child for the event he experienced, not to abandon him,
>Staying away from physical-verbal violence
Being calm and consistent,
Appreciating and rewarding the child's positive behavior,
Most importantly, making the child feel safe. It is necessary.
Trauma does not only weaken people, it should not be forgotten that we can bring these miracle lives that are trying to continue their lives back to life as individuals who can look at life stronger than before, in cooperation.
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