In romantic relationships, the effects of traumas experienced in childhood can be observed more. There will be a level of attachment between the two parties in the relationship. Since there is more sharing space, childhood traumas may be the basis of attachment problems in romantic relationships. The effect of attachment problems in romantic relationships affects both parties and the relationship. The problem of trust, which is one of the important elements in romantic relationships, can be caused not only by the trust of the person in front of him, but also by the insecurity of himself. The foundation of the feeling of trust began to be laid in infancy. As a result of the relationship between the caregiver and the baby, the baby will internalize concepts such as trust and attachment, and will enable it to affect other periods of his life.
Adult Attachment Styles
Adults with secure attachment
Secure Attachment
Individuals with a secure attachment style tend to see both themselves and others positively. Since they see themselves as individuals worthy of being loved, they do not hesitate to give value, love, trust and respect to the other person as well. In relationships, Bartholomew and Horowitz(1991) say that securely attached adults need less approval from others because it is important for them to protect their self-image. Because of this, they experience less anxiety in their bilateral relations in their lives and they establish a more comfortable relationship and intimacy. This proximity has no effect on their autonomy. They also value their close relationships and exhibit successful behaviors in maintaining it. There is no concern for abandonment in their bilateral relations. bun Because of this, they generally establish long relationships and trust both their spouses and themselves in these long relationships. Individuals with secure attachment have started to form this trust from infancy. The caregiver's interest, love, compassion and meeting the needs of the individual ensured that the individual bonded with their adult relationships with confidence. they see people negatively. The source of this negativity is related to the cessation of the attachment system, according to Bowlby. The individual's refusal of attachment behavior is to avoid close relationships and to ignore the emotions that will make him or her feel negative. For this reason, they are unsuccessful in establishing close relationships, fond of their independence. They reject the needs they feel for others. They see relationships as unimportant and choose not to be attached to a single person. Another reason why these people don't care about relationships is that they value themselves.
These individuals avoid relationships because they are afraid of losing their high self-esteem when they are attached to a person.
Preoccupied Attachment
To the preoccupied attachment style Individuals who have it are generally those who were abandoned by their parents when they were young or did not receive affection. They tend to see themselves negatively and others positively. Other people's approval It is very important for people who have this style to buy a job.
These people cannot tolerate loneliness and are very dependent on their relationships and show their emotions too much. The most important feature of this attachment style is to experience fear of abandonment.
In some negative situations that arise, they cannot accept the ending, and then experience severe depression, anxiety and traumatic problems.
Fearful Anxious Attachment
Individuals with a fearful/anxious attachment style are those who evaluate both themselves and the model negatively. They do not trust themselves or others. A person cannot stay alone, just as he cannot stay with others. As a reflection of this, it is seen that they are prone to crime. The main problem of these people is that they think that they are unsuccessful in a relationship. Because they think that they will not be liked or wanted by people, they prefer not to approach them at all. They even reject individuals who approach them. “Anxious and negative relationships are associated with positive emotions and behaviors being replaced by negative emotions. The opposite is true for secure attachment.”
Man needs a sense of trust by his nature. He seeks trust in all kinds of relationships. Any relationship without a sense of trust cannot be healthy. The person who has lost trust expects a wrong action from the person in front of him at any moment. The problem of trust has caused the problem of attachment in the individual� The reason for attachment problem arises as a result of the relationship established with the caregiver mother.
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