Almost all of us have experienced that "when entering a new environment or meeting a new person, children immediately bow their heads and hide behind their mother/father." Then a familiar voice comes: "Son/daughter, what happened, why are you ashamed, come on, answer your brother/sister, look what they asked you." This behavior of the child may become more severe and he/she may also make noises or crying behavior that indicate that he/she is disturbed. At such a moment, every behavior or word the parents show will be indifferent to eliminating the child's sense of shame. We need to know that shyness basically occurs with the instinct of protection and feeling safe. The most important bond that children form with their mothers from the first years of their lives is the feeling of trust. He sees his mother as a haven of refuge. For this reason, it is a natural process for him to feel ashamed of someone else and take refuge in his mother. However, as children get older and reach the age of 5 and 6, the exaggerated shyness and introversion that occur in children negatively affects the child. Family is directly related to this situation. In general, children may adopt a cautious and distant attitude towards new events, situations or people they encounter. It is normal for them to tend to be shy because their social relationships have not yet developed, they do not realize that they are a single individual, and most importantly, they are trying to form their personality. Therefore, it is equally important to accurately determine shyness in children. It should not be forgotten that in which environment, how and with whom children communicate and how they respond should be taken into consideration. While such problems are considered normal at a young age, it should not be forgotten that as we get older, these problems can turn into different problems such as social phobia, anxiety disorder, and self-confidence problems.
What are the causes of shyness in children?
Shyness is a natural process that occurs in almost every person. Studies show that shyness varies according to environmental, structural, relational, social, family and upbringing styles. Especially having a shy person in the family causes the child to adopt a similar model. So what should we not do? We should not make the child a laughing stock. Such statements like "here came our shy child" cause the child to become more withdrawn and ashamed. We should not judge others' behavior by using expressions such as "You're starting to look like your friend, but he's just as shy as you." We should stay away from accusatory and judgmental statements by using expressions such as "look, no one else your age is as ashamed as you, you are the only one who does this." “Your aunts are here, say hello, can you talk? "Why are you silent?" We should not force people to do certain things in an oppressive manner. "How many times have I told you, when someone asks a question, answer me, don't stand behind me?" Getting angry and scolding causes the child to feel more embarrassed. If we do not want to hear these and similar discourses, we should not approach our children with these discourses. However, the shyness seen in children paves the way for the formation of permanent and different problems due to the developmental feature. What can I do instead of these expressions? We need to eliminate the problem by asking yourself the question.
We can support them in instilling their sense of self-confidence and providing them with the opportunity to overcome difficult situations. Support entering new environments. Don't expect many things to change suddenly with a magic touch. Remember that every child has different personality traits and temperaments. Appreciate the child's achievements and help him realize his potential. Don't force him into anything. Encourage Sometimes, despite all your efforts and efforts, you may find that shyness increases drastically. Then, the expert support you will receive without wasting time will be effective in preventing the problems caused by shyness.
It should not be forgotten that shyness can be seen at any age and gender. One of the most frequently asked questions is “how can I overcome shyness?” It is not possible to eliminate shyness in one day. Overcoming them gradually with expert support will eliminate other problems that may arise.
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