Your Attachment Style Affects Your Relationship Choices

Have you ever thought about how we choose the people in our relationships or why the way we live relationships differs from each other?

Our attachment styles affect our relationship style, relationship choice, and what kind of partner we look for in a relationship. Considering that the basis of the relationships an individual establishes in adulthood and the choice of a partner is laid in the family, it is thought that the attachment styles established with caregivers (mother and father) in the past also have a significant impact on the person's relationship.

Bowlby suggests that attachment plays a vital role in human life from cradle to grave. He mentioned that he played; He defined attachment as a strong emotional bond that a person establishes with another person who is important to him/her. When the researches are examined, the attachment levels of individuals with their parents in childhood affect the child's own attachment in adulthood, and also affect the attachment level of the child in their marriages and with the people they have close relationships with.

Secure Attachment

• Research has shown that individuals with secure attachment are more positive, reflect this in their relationships and understand their partners better.

• These people have early It has been found that they have positive thoughts about their relationships with their parents during this period, they do not have difficulty in establishing trust and closeness in their relationships, and they do not show jealousy behaviors.

• Securely attached people can easily cope with the negative consequences of stressful situations. Their thoughts about support are positive, and when they experience a stressful situation, they can cope with this situation with social support.

• For the person, other people are acceptable, reliable and sensitive.

• Individuals who develop secure attachmentindividuals who develop anxious/ambivalent and avoidant attachments in their close relationships invest more in their relationships, achieve harmony with their partner, provide closeness and satisfaction to their partner, and also avoid conflicts. They are effective in solving skills.

• Individuals who are securely attached have long-lasting close relationships, and their self-confidence increases. Their confidence in their partner and spouse is high.

Obsessive Attachment

• With the person's negative perception of himself/herself It involves perceiving other people positively.

• The person perceives other people positively, tries to gain acceptance from them, and may try to prove himself to other people.

Anxious/Ambivalent Attachment

• In this attachment type, there is an intense effort to achieve the need for security and a lot of energy and behavior to keep other people around.

• These people can fall in love easily, show extreme jealousy towards their partners, and experience intense anxiety even while their relationship continues.

• In close relationships. They may experience emotional ups and downs by exhibiting obsessive behavior.

• People who develop anxious/ambivalent attachment experience low satisfaction and avoid conflict resolution situations.

• These people are dependent on their partners and have a strong desire for commitment in their relationships.

 

Avoidant Attachment

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• People with avoidant attachment are very fragile and tend to be disappointed and complain that their partner does not meet their expectations.

• Trust people. They have difficulty in hearing and have negative beliefs about their close relationships.

• It is observed that they show avoidance behavior in order not to lose their sense of security and avoid close relationships and interactions in stressful situations and conditions.

• People with an avoidant attachment style try to protect themselves against their feelings of rejection and hurt by avoiding getting close to other people.

 

Fearful Attachment

• Avoiding intimacy in close relationships and People with anxiety think that they do not deserve the love and support of other people.

• The person is not enough. Due to their feelings of uniqueness, they experience the fear that other people will reject them and be unreliable, and as a result, they protect themselves against rejection by avoiding close relationships.

Dismissive Attachment

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• It is a dismissive attachment pattern that minimizes distress and social support needs by refusing to form close relationships or intimacy.

• They exhibit a negative attitude towards other people, avoid close relationships to avoid disappointment, and protect themselves with their sense of independence.

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