Technology is developing very quickly. We almost have to wait in front of our social media accounts to follow the developments. Sometimes we even postpone the work that needs to be done in order to keep our social media updated or follow others. We follow the news, country and world agenda on social media. We follow many areas from shopping to fashion, our friends, our closest friends and even the developments in our family on social media. We even collect materials that can make us laugh from there. We need social media even to laugh. Most of the time, we look for relationships on social media instead of socializing outside. It would not be a wrong statement to call it a habit when this situation repeats constantly, or to call it an addiction when its absence makes us uneasy. Yes, we are turning into social media addicts one by one day by day. We can instantly learn what people on the other side of the world are doing. Different lifestyles and conditions are now at our fingertips. We can see those who have what we want to have but cannot have. Sometimes we envy, sometimes we feel disgusted, sometimes we get angry and sometimes we get jealous. Human beings have a selfish nature by nature. He wants everything for himself first. Instead of loving those who are better off than us, we feel sad or jealous because we cannot be in the same or better situation. Thanks to social media, these sorrows and jealousies are now at our fingertips. The shortest and easiest way to upset ourselves. The quickest tool that can spoil a pleasant moment is now at our disposal. Instead of being happy in a place where we go to have a pleasant holiday and relax, we may suffer when we see our friends on social media go to better places. I call this the 'happiness grinder'. We do not often witness people sharing their bad moments on social media accounts. When we look at social media, everyone looks happy, everyone looks amazing. If this is true, we should be able to say that the happiest people in the world are those who use social media. If we can see other people's accounts and become unhappy, it means that the posts on our account are not real. If ours is not real, there is a possibility that others' may not be real either. I am commenting on the posts here as an attempt to look better out of spite. I say. What we share on social media applications is actually what people want to see of themselves when they look in the mirror. I call this 'mirror reflection'. Our reflection changes depending on the characteristics of the mirror. Depending on the characteristics of the mirror, we may look thinner, taller, happier.
Relationships are one of the issues most affected by social media. Both friendships and emotional relationships can be damaged very easily due to social media. According to TÜİK data, divorce rates have increased to 35.5%. As mental health professionals, we can say that the influence of social media has a very important role in divorces. After a while, couples may compare their relationships with other relationships shared on social media. Once this process begins, it can sicken the entire relationship like the plague. Nowadays, we hear sentences like 'look, they went to Paris on holiday', 'they bought a nicer house than ours', 'we don't look that happy' so often these days. We have become unable to spare time for our own relationships rather than examining other relationships. Small happiness has given way to big desires. Stepping away from social media for a moment has become an inconvenience that constantly pokes us with the question "I wonder what they are doing?" We have come to the point where we are experiencing social media withdrawal crises, just like someone trying to quit alcohol or drugs. In order to get away from the stressful work environment and to escape from the moments we argue in our relationships, we have taken refuge in social media. It has almost become our only means of communication. Naturally, we have started to destroy the issue of 'communication', which is the most important part that keeps relationships alive, with our own hands, thanks to social media. Of course, it would not be surprising if lack of communication results in separation and divorce. It is inevitable that in the near future, divorce rates will increase in direct proportion to the increase in the creation of new social media platforms day by day. Nowadays, the quality assessment of relationships has become comparable to the image of relationships on other social media accounts. Comparison brings competition, competition brings ambition, ambition is a virus that damages a relationship. It comes to Our computers and phones can catch viruses and break down. Relationships will also deteriorate when they get the virus.
So what can we do as a solution? First of all, we must limit the time we spend on social media. I'm not saying social media is bad, it definitely shouldn't be there, I'm just saying we need to adjust its dosage. Couples should spend more time with each other outside of social media and most importantly, avoid comparisons that can become a virus. Everyone has happy and unhappy moments, and social media is mostly a mirror equipped with the illusion of happiness to hide happy moments or unhappy moments, keep this in mind. In cases where this cannot be achieved, it is necessary to seek support from an expert individually or as a couple. Otherwise, the same result will be inevitable in new relationships that will start after the relationships ended. Today, there are marriage, family and couple therapists who work in areas specific to such situations. Apart from this, it can be very useful to attend trainings and seminars on these subjects.
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