For a child, friends are one of the most important devices that enable both socialization and interaction. With adolescence, friendship relationships become more important. A life focused on friends rather than family turns first into group friendships and then into close friendships. Relationships and expectations with friends change over time. In childhood, they prefer friendship with members of their own gender and find the opposite gender repulsive and disturbing. Groupings and common sharing begin with adolescence. As groups begin to grow, both sexes begin to interact with each other. There are common values, interests, desires and goals that enable us to be together. In groupings, there are people with similar structures and ideas, or those who can meet on common ground. They are at similar maturity levels. For this reason, it is not correct for families to say that their children are influenced by their friends or to think that their friends cause behavioral deterioration. Interests, hobbies, future plans, common thoughts are the basis for forming a group. Some adolescents not being able to join any group may be their own choice or they may be rejected by groups due to their personality traits. Identifying what causes rejection and bringing it to the level of acceptance will be important for the adolescent's future life and choice of friends and spouses.
In adolescence, friends serve as a mirror. No matter what he sees or experiences in his family, he actually begins to recognize himself by finding reflection in his friends. Friends develop their identities together. In the resulting physical and spiritual development, they overcome their curiosity and anxiety by sharing them. It helps him understand the emotions of others while coping with his own fears. They share their thoughts, fears, feelings and experiences with each other. Again, the development of social skills, establishing relationships with people, sharing and cooperating are learned through friendships. An adolescent who has difficulty making friends or who says he is not looking for a friendship may also have psychological distress. Adolescents who are extremely introverted, do not understand the needs of others, do not care about their feelings, belittle people, and behave rudely are not accepted. These young people need to be supported when they are noticed. Because adolescents who are accepted by their friends, They will be self-confident, tolerant individuals with healthier human relations.
The role of the family here should be to support friendship relationships, which have such an important place in the psycho-social development of the child and adolescent. The fact that they start spending more time with their friends should not be considered as a negative thing or a rupture, but on the contrary, as a step towards individualization and acceptance. Of course, sometimes friend choices can start to worry families. If you are not worried about your child, do not worry about their choices. Because children who are valued, who receive sufficient love and acceptance, do not act under the influence of others. Trust your child and his choices. Try to get to know their friends without crossing borders, if possible, meet their families and invite them to your home. If your child has friends that you do not approve of, make this clear to your child. State that you see some things differently than your child due to your own life experiences, and that this worries you and that it would be good for him/her to take your statements into consideration. Even if he doesn't do it at first, when he notices a problem, he will remember your thoughts and walk away without much damage.
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