Many of us carry a hurt and wounded “inner child” who is not appropriately met, heard, seen, loved, rejected, or validated by caregivers or ourselves. Our inner child often holds the thoughts, memories, feelings, traumas and wounds we experienced as children. Therefore, our role as adults is to focus on our inner child; to become our own best parents by re-parenting the way we were meant to parent as children.
You can only begin to heal once you realize that you are the person responsible for providing the unconditional love, presence, support, and acceptance that your inner child will need in your past. To do this, our work as adults is to learn how to lovingly accept these painful parts of the Self. This work is about easing our pain and allowing us to heal our childhood wounds by developing new ways of relating to our “little self.”
Here are 8 steps you can take today to reconnect with your inner child and become your own best parent.
1-I want you to imagine the best parent you can imagine.
This is an imaginary parent, so it will likely contain many characteristics of different people.
For example, you may want to include your mother's fun spirit and your father's protection. Most of the time, our ideal parent is really an amalgamation of many people we encounter throughout our lives. Maybe your best parent could be part of your sister's and friend's parents. Maybe it's a part of one of your teachers or a character you've seen in a movie or read in a book. Basically, it can be anyone and anything and look like anyone you choose. I want you to have a clear image of this best parent. Now I want you to realize that you are the best parent within you. You are the best parent. We all have qualities that we admire in others. If you admire them: You own them.
2-Ask yourself:
How do you act, talk and connect to the person you love most in the world?
Who is this person for you?
From this day onwards I want you to make your religion this person. You must be the most important person in the world. I understand that this is difficult for people with children. But remember that the more you love and accept yourself, the more loving and accepting you will be with your children.
3-Start talking to your inner child in a loving and empathetic way. For any decision you make, no matter how big or small, I want you to continue asking yourself this question:
“What would someone who loves himself do?”
By doing this you are: actively accepting and reconnecting with your inner child in a loving and empathetic way.
4-Start using images to give your inner child what he needs. I want you to close your eyes and see a scene from your childhood. It could be any scene or any age. For example, I do this a lot by imagining myself in my mother's womb. Then I want you to enter the scene as an adult (now yourself) and give that child whatever he wants/needs in that scene. Whenever I think of my “little self” in my mother's womb, I imagine myself singing or caressing her belly in my mother's womb, and the baby smiling, protected, and loved in her womb. Whatever your “little one” needs, give it to him. Stay with these imaginary scenes until you feel that your “little you” is fulfilling and calm. Repeat this process as much as possible. You can do this in many different scenes and in many different ways. Let your instinct guide you and it will naturally reveal past scenarios from which you need to heal.
5-If you could say one thing to the “little you”, what would it be? Take a moment to write a letter to your inner child. It can be as short or as long as you want. I want you to look back at everything you experienced in your childhood. What do you wish someone told you when you were a child? What do you wish your “little” knew back then? What advice would you give him? I want you to do this from a completely loving and empathetic perspective. Keep this letter in a sacred place and return to it whenever possible.
6-Reconnect with your inner child. Add this to videos, photos You can do this by looking at pardons, past diaries, asking your parents or siblings to share in the fun, and tapping into stories about the “little you.” Learn to introduce yourself to the “little you” and develop empathy and sensitivity towards it.
7-Promise yourself to the “little you” that you will keep every day. For example: “I will never leave you again. “Or “from now on I will always be here for you.” ” or “I will keep you safe.” or “I won't reject you anymore.” I want you to make a promise to yourself and commit yourself to keeping that promise every day.
8-Reconnecting to our inner child, reconnecting to the most vulnerable, fragile and wounded parts of ourselves. It means to connect.
This can be a very emotional experience, so take your time with it and make sure you begin to reconnect with acceptance and intention. Learning to re-parent our inner child is one of the most rewarding and healing processes we can ever undertake.
Teach yourself here now and then. You must give what you need.
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