Parental Attitudes and Behaviors

BASIC DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES OF PARENTS

To be a good example for children,
To protect children and supporting,
Teaching the rules and limits,
Showing a continuous and consistent parenting attitude,
Developing a relationship that takes both one's own wishes and the child's wishes into consideration

Factors Affecting Parents' Attitudes

Educational status
Expectations of parents
Value judgments of society
Readyness to become a mother and father
Mother's and father's own childhood experiences
Relationship between mother and father
Number of children

PARENT ATTITUDES;

1- EXTREMELY RESPRESSIVE-AUTHORITARIAN ATTITUDE

In a family where the parents' attitudes are extremely oppressive and authoritarian;

The child's interests and needs are not taken into account. The child is not given the right to speak.
Rules are imposed on the child, the reasons for which are not explained, and if he does not comply with these rules, he is punished.
He is expected to comply with the rules without questioning. . Criticism and humiliation are very common.
Parents who constantly criticize, judge, give orders, intimidate and blame.
>Violence may be used with the logic of “I am educating my child”.

HOW DOES AUTHORITARIAN AND OPRESENTATIVE ATTITUDE AFFECT THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE CHILD?
Children who grow up with authoritarian-oppressive parental attitudes can be introverted, timid, obedient, or overly aggressive and tyrannical.
They experience a feeling of worthlessness and lack self-respect and self-confidence.
The child always has the desire to be strong and to crush those weaker than himself.
The child will face heavy punishment. He may lie to escape.
There is a high probability that his academic achievements will be low.

2- OVERCOMMITMENT� �PREMIUM ATTITUDE
In a family where parents' attitudes are overly tolerant;
Everything the children want is fulfilled without questioning. .
Any behavior of the child is tolerated and accepted.
Even if some rules are determined, the rules are not followed or there are no rules at all. It is not placed. Boundaries are not drawn within the family. (On issues such as homecoming time, bedtime, play time, etc.)
Parents do not intervene or give instructive guidance to the child, with the idea that children should make mistakes and reach the truth on their own.
HOW DOES OVER-PERSONAL PARENTAL ATTITUDE AFFECT THE CHILD'S DEVELOPMENT?
Children growing up with over-tolerant parental attitudes They have difficulty controlling themselves. They become selfish and spoiled. They are intolerant of criticism.
They have difficulty learning social rules.
They exhibit hitting, hurtful and aggressive behavior.
They are insatiable and do not know how to share. They have problems adapting because they have no rules.
These children dominate their parents and show little respect to them.
3- OVERPROTECTIVE PARENTAL ATTITUDE
This understanding means that parents overprotect the child and control them more than necessary.
In such a family, no work or responsibility is given to the child out of concern that something might happen to him/her, everything is done by the parents.
Give children life experience. opportunity is not given.
HOW DOES OVERPROTECTIVE PARENTAL ATTITUDE AFFECT THE CHILD'S DEVELOPMENT?
Sense of self-confidence cannot develop. They remain extremely timid and shy.
He cannot do anything on his own, he does not believe that he can do it. They have difficulty making decisions.
They become dependent on their parents. They have difficulty communicating with the people around them.
A sense of responsibility and awareness cannot develop.
He/she becomes introverted or aggressive.
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Behavior disorder (nail biting, stuttering, bedwetting, school phobia, lying, etc.) are observed.
From time to time, the child engages in antisocial and rebellious behavior in order to make himself accepted by the group. can apply..
A FLOWER NEEDS WATER, BUT IF YOU WATER IT TOO MUCH, IT WILL DIE.
4-INCONSISTENT ATTITUDE (Imbalanced and Unstable Attitude)
When parents disagree in their relationship with their children or when the child exhibits the same behavior at different times It is the attitude of the parents that emerges from different reactions.
While a child's behavior may be punished by the mother, it may be considered normal by the father.
Not treating all children equally, not giving them equal responsibilities, and treating boys and girls differently depending on their gender may occur.
Sometimes a child's behavior may receive a very harsh reaction, while sometimes it may be very positive. can be met.
HOW DOES INCONSISTENT PARENTAL ATTITUDE AFFECT THE CHILD'S DEVELOPMENT?
Unbalanced and indecisive attitude Children growing up with this disorder do not know which behaviors are appropriate and which are inappropriate. Their behavior is aimed at avoiding punishment and criticism.
They cannot express their own opinions and thoughts.
What behavior does the child have, where, how and what? He hesitates about what to do when he has time.
5-PERFECTIONIST ATTITUDE
Parents who adopt this attitude encourage their children to They expect them to be perfect in every academic, social, artistic and sports field.
They try to satisfy their own ego through children
They meet family expectations. The child is subjected to an intensive training process to meet the requirements. Extreme meticulousness and cleanliness are expected from the child.
Expectations from the child are beyond their age and capacity. Childish behavior is prohibited, and the choice of friends belongs to the family.
Parents show their interest and love towards their child in proportion to the child's success.
The more success, the more love.
PERFECTIONIST PARENTAL ATTITUDE � HOW DOES IT AFFECT THE CHILD'S DEVELOPMENT?
The child raised with this understanding begins to experience emotions such as extreme anxiety, stress, uneasiness and disappointment. It expresses itself with behavioral problems such as "nail biting, stuttering, bedwetting, lying, etc." They have no self-confidence. Their level of initiative is quite low because they are afraid of making mistakes.
These children are in a constant internal conflict because they are stuck between their natural instincts and the rules.
His ideas are usually very rigid.
He wants to be superior in everything and gets disappointed when he cannot achieve this. He may stop working completely and develop a feeling of inferiority.
6-ASSURING AND SUPPORTIVE ATTITUDE
Rules are determined appropriate to the child's age and developmental characteristics. Most importantly, these rules are determined together with the child.
Relationships between parents and children are loving, respectful and trusting.
Children are considered as separate individuals and they are offered options appropriate to their age and situation.
Parents are models suitable for the child with their behavior. Mother and father's attitudes and feelings towards each other and their children are clear and clear.
There is trust and transparency within the family. Decisions affecting the family are made together. Children's ideas and thoughts are listened to and taken into account.
The rules are logically explained and internalized, a sense of responsibility and problem-solving skills develop.
RECOMMENDATIONS FOR PARENTS
Set clear limits on your child's behavior and determine the rules that must be strictly followed.
Try to determine a certain attitude towards your child and behave consistently.
Temporary flexibility may be shown in restrictions and rules on very special days and occasions.
Show your love and attention to your children; Be careful to share some duties and responsibilities equally.
Respect your child's rights and freedom and give him or her certain responsibilities. One On the other hand, set limits for them.
Praise your child's successes, but do not overdo it.
Assure that he/she has enough capacity to satisfy his/her curiosity. Encourage the child.
Stay on a line in your child's education so that your child can find support by feeling you around at all times, and also feel free by never seeing you.
Let your child perform the behaviors that need to be fulfilled according to your child's development.
A STORY

With a well-intentioned and helpful friend. One day, while walking in nature, we saw a butterfly trying to get out of its cocoon. The butterfly was trying to get out of the fibers of the cocoon. My helpful friend immediately rushed to the butterfly's rescue. He carefully stripped the fibers of the cocoon, opened the cocoon and allowed the butterfly to come out of the cocoon without any effort. However, although the butterfly emerged from the cocoon easily, it struggled a bit and could not fly. What my helpful friend ignored was this: only through efforts to emerge from the cocoon do the wings become stronger and prepare for flight. With its efforts to save itself, the butterfly was actually developing its muscles and learning the movements that would keep it standing, make it strong, and prepare it to fly. My helpful friend prevented the butterfly from getting stronger, which would make his job easier. The butterfly never knew its freedom, it never really lived.
Over time, this causes some internal conflicts and unrest in the child, and therefore the formation of an inconsistent structure.
The child becomes an adult who is insecure, touchy and suspicious in his relationships in later life.

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