'' I direct my child to social activities because I don't want him to be bored at home.'' ''I take private lessons 6 days a week, he has one free day, what can I tell him to do?'' ''Let him play the piano, go to a basketball course, there is no free time at home. Don't let it stop.'' 'Everyone's child gets private lessons, why shouldn't mine? ‘’
Welcome to the series of miraculous solutions that parents have found themselves lately. We forget this: Unfortunately, our children cannot and will not be everything!
In many countries of the world, families send their children to private lessons outside of school. Parents in many parts of the world send their children to private lessons for various reasons. Some to reinforce their basic knowledge, some to prepare for certain exams, and some to not fall behind their friends. In short, when students who have deficiencies in some subjects tell their parents about these deficiencies, or when parents realize that they have deficiencies in some subjects based on the scores the student gets in the exams, they may need private lessons to complete the missing subjects in their children.
Children cannot stay on their own, they cannot listen to themselves!
Intense school life and sometimes studies such as private teaching institutions and courses keep our children very busy throughout the week. As parents, we can say that our need to fill our children's empty days is partly what we learn from the social environment and partly our own ambitions as parents.
Some of our clients talk about private teachers who come to their homes on certain days of the week. In this process, we should consider how tired your children are and also pay attention to the fact that children need to process the information they have learned. Let's not direct children to social-artistic activities without asking them about their wishes and without fully understanding what their interests and curiosities are. Children are not our puppets, we should want children, be curious and care about them. The biggest diseases that children who are engrossed in private lessons, artistic or sports activities have recently encountered can be depression or chronic pain. We can see that even the branches that they love and enjoy growing get colder as it gets rainy. Tiredness, expectations, and not being able to stay on their own can also cause children to not be able to continue what they have started.
Children should be able to listen to themselves and be alone!
Children, like adults, have their own worlds. There are many things in this world such as family, friends, school, teachers, responsibilities... In this cycle, children forget to stay with themselves and listen to their bodies. Children who cannot stay with themselves cannot realize what they need to do better and improve in their lives. They cannot feel body sensations. Children who cannot recognize the changes in their bodies due to pleasant or unpleasant emotions can end up with chronic pain and somatic complaints.
How should sports and artistic activities be decided?
You want your child to perform in an area and If you can prioritize your child's needs while sharing this with him, you are a good parent. There may be areas in which he is talented, but his most basic need is to be interested and willing. We can discover in which area the child's talent lies from school, teachers or even while playing with his peers. The important thing is to know what the child needs and motivate him accordingly. For example, a child who is talented at basketball does not want to play basketball. Instead, he is interested in swimming and wants to try swimming, which is a common situation we encounter. We have to ask the child why he is interested in swimming, whether it is a momentary enthusiasm or an activity he really wants to do, and plan it for the long term. In this way, the child will progress in a more motivated and conscious way, with your support while making this planning.
Remember; Your children may be very important to you, but they cannot be your everything. Even if the child does not want to engage in any activity, you should still respect and appreciate your child. Maybe he needs time, maybe he doesn't really want to do that sport. Our part is to accompany them, show them the good and bad things on this journey, and always approve and appreciate them.
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