I have witnessed many times that the underlying cause of many psychological problems is that a person does not love himself enough, or on the contrary, when the excessive amount of love goes over, his mind can play illusionary with his emotional state. In most people's lives, loving yourself is seen as selfish or spoiled. In our society, due to the intensity of the all-or-nothing perspective, when we talk about loving ourselves, we feel guilty as if we are doing something very bad. So why this guilty and cautious perspective on self-love?
Anyone who reads a little psychology literature knows that the schemas we acquire when we are very young are the root of our thinking like this. The child, who is often exposed to criticism from his parents, convinces himself that he is not a being worthy of being loved. . A child who does not see himself as worthy of love and respect may find himself in actions that lower his value or in damaging relationships when he grows up. This being, who has already been filled with feelings of worthlessness since childhood, is almost drawn towards familiarity. Because he feels familiar feelings. This child most likely turns into a person who does not know how to show love to himself and who therefore has closed himself off from many feelings of life and shows signs of severe depression, but who has no insight into the treatment. Childhood abuse does not only consist of physical and sexual abuse. Children who have only been emotionally abused also encounter patterns that challenge them in later life. Emotional abuse is quite common but is the most difficult type of abuse to prove legally. Emotional abuse can be seen in many ways. Examples include yelling at the child because of something the child cannot change, leaving him alone, threatening, underestimating him, talking sarcastically, making him dependent, and putting excessive pressure on him. Here, nothing physical is done to the child, but sanctions are applied with psychological pressure. Yelling loudly at a child is not physical violence, but the humiliation caused by this situation is very destructive. Our aim here is not to blame your family or make you feel grudges towards them. Their families also grew up with worse treatment than they treated you. Think about the child who is afraid of harming his child and therefore tears his own clothes. The only thing he says is that my mother was angry because of me. If I had not made my mother so angry, my mother would not have done this to herself. He accepts the judgment in his very early childhood life and later on, he can appear as an adult who has developed a deep belief that whatever happened to him is his fault. However, loving yourself is not a luxury in any way. We can also love ourselves by respecting the rights of others. Loving ourselves is not selfishness. By loving ourselves, you can easily break the part of the emotional abuse chain that corresponds to you.
As long as you live with the limited and extremely destructive critical patterns you heard from your family while growing up, now is the time to break them. Whichever you continue to believe in, you can easily choose not to believe. About yourself. It is a good choice to write down the parts of yourself that need to be encouraged or which characteristics you like the most and read or remember them in your bad times.
Now I want to write something that I always say. In order to love others, you must first pour the energy of love into yourself. Think of it this way, you can't give anyone anything you don't have. Your primary job is to feel the love in your own world.….
With love…..
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