I think that under today's conditions, we cannot assume the existence of a newly married couple who are not in debt. While couples make promises to each other in good times and bad times during the marriage contract, bad days can sometimes arise when it comes time to pay the debts incurred during the wedding preparations. Of course, a beautiful wedding to which familiar and loved friends, family friends and relatives are invited is the dream of many couples. But of course, expenses that will exceed the current budget will appear as debts that need to be paid on both sides in the future. In addition, the expectations of the families of the bride and groom candidates from each other within the framework of customs and traditions will put the parties under financial burden.
The basis of the financial problems of newlywed couples is generally; There are expenses incurred during the wedding preparations that are not in line with the current budget. In addition, from time to time, a loan taken out by one of the spouses on behalf of himself or his family before marriage, a bank debt arising from being a guarantor for someone else, or a car installment may cause additional financial problems. Sometimes addiction problems such as gambling can also cause financial problems between the parties.
Yes, unfortunately, the problems...
Actually, the first periods of marriage; It is the period when couples get to know, understand and get used to each other spiritually and physically. The foundations are laid for sharing and maintaining a common life. While couples can enjoy this period, they may inevitably drown in financial problems. This process actually causes couples who have no other problems to become worn out just because of financial issues. And those first periods, which can be spent very well, may be remembered as the most unforgettable times of marriage.
Unfortunately, financial problems can lead to the parties inflicting psychological or physical violence on each other. Sometimes, the process can progress to the point that the parties resort to legal action, due to a negative belief that these problems cannot be dealt with.
Couples try to understand and support each other as much as possible in the face of these problems that arise in financial matters. They can manage the crisis better and cope with the current situation relatively more easily. Acting together in the face of this problem helps the parties see their power to overcome the problems and strengthens their trust in each other.
What can be done, How should we behave?
A budget that reflects reality A plan should be prepared and action should be taken in accordance with this plan.
Many problems can be prevented if spouse candidates clearly express their financial means to each other and explain in an appropriate language what they can and cannot do. It has the possibility of reducing the severity of the problem.
If financial support is offered by families, it should not disturb the other party. Therefore, the form and limits of the support should be well determined.
It should be well understood whether the financial expectations during the engagement and wedding process are the expectations of the prospective spouse or his family. This correct understanding may prevent the parties from judging each other in the future.
The engagement and wedding organizations made by other people in the environment, the high living standards of other people and their possessions, etc. It should be avoided and comparative examples should not be given.
Parties should be able to objectively evaluate the financial possibilities of the people they choose as spouses and act prudently.
Current personal debts. It should be shared honestly and openly with the other party.
Parties need to know that they have the right to say No to each other on issues they cannot do. Expectations may be reconsidered in the face of a reasonable No answer based on valid reasons.
I recommend that parties experiencing financial problems seek support from an expert if they are having difficulty leaving these problems behind.
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