What is this uniform nutrition thing you call?
There may be many different elements that keep the relationship alive. In this, physical attraction, matching of life views, intellectual match, similarity of interests and tastes, etc. has. However, if we are talking about a long-lasting life together, the most decisive thing is character harmony. At this point, if we have to put up with the characteristics of that person that we do not want and continue the relationship just because we like a single character trait, we can call this a uniform diet in the relationship.
Is this something that harms the relationship, like a uniform diet in the same diet?
Of course . Just as if we eat only protein, carbohydrates or fat in a diet, excess of our preferred food and lack of foods we do not prefer harm different parts of our body, the same is true in relationships. Just like a balanced diet, it is extremely important to have a spiritually balanced diet in relationships. In other words, physical attraction, life outlook, expectations from the relationship and character traits should be distributed in a balanced way. Otherwise, the relationship starts to be fed from a single source.
So where does the basis for this begin?
Sometimes, there may be some behaviors that we cannot see from our parents and that we feel missing over time. This may vary depending on the mother or father. For example, we may feel that we are always criticized and not accepted unconditionally by our parents. While our negative aspects are always seen, our positive aspects may be ignored. Over time, this becomes a deficiency within us that needs to be satisfied. We feel an intense attachment to the first person who compensates for this deficiency. We begin to ignore other negative characteristics of this person. However, this person may also be lazy and irresponsible in the relationship. He may not actually be attracted to us physically. It may not suit us intellectually. There may be many other characteristics that do not actually suit us. However, we have such a great deficiency in unconditional acceptance, away from negative criticism, that we do not see the other negative aspects of the other person. In a sense, we become the person who accepts that person unconditionally. We leave aside seeing the negative points.
How can we prevent this in relationships?
In such cases, one cannot avoid such dynamics. must reach the arc. He must realize what his needs are and get this need from different social circles such as family members and friends. Otherwise, he may suffer great emotional damage from the person whose negative characteristics he ignores. At the same time, he should minimize his need for unconditional acceptance as much as possible. Thus, his dependence on his partner disappears. He realizes that there are also characteristics that he does not want in his partner. Thus, he begins to evaluate his current relationship more healthily. As a result, a more peaceful and happy life awaits the person, whether the relationship continues or ends.
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