If you are a psychologist working with children, you should also be a guiding guide for parents. When the counseling process begins with a child, you become involved in that family and become their companion. This journey can reach its ultimate goal with mutual trust, cooperation, patience and awareness. The opposite is not possible. Although there are a high number of parents who attach great importance to counseling regarding their children, unfortunately many of them leave this journey unfinished due to their unrealistic and fast expectations about the process.
When working with children, what to do depending on the content of the subject you are working on requires a little more dedication and awareness. Parents more often say, "Let's solve the problem immediately, I don't want anything else." I told a mother who wanted to just deal with the toilet issue and felt very tired about it, that we had to develop other connections on this issue together, because what the child is experiencing is not just a situation. In the years when development progresses most rapidly, interrelated issues require working together.
As my experience increased, I realized that parent-child studies needed a different structure. We are making very positive progress as parents who come for their children accept that my work with their children is less functional without gaining the most basic teachings and behaviors.
What are these basic issues?
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Parents' emotional management (Anger, anxiety...)
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Characteristics of children's developmental periods
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Emotion-behavior reflection
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Methods of regulation
Studying these topics is a bit difficult, of course.
Why? Because the parent has the courage to touch his own sensitive points, his past, his present and even his future. At this point I say this; The best part of saying "I'm glad I'm passing through this world having the chance to be a parent" is that we discover ourselves thanks to our child, instead of just living and going. We discover, develop and change.
When two people get married, they first transition to the role of spouse and then to the role of parenting. s. And, like many other roles, they try to adapt to these new roles they are involved in. A quote from one of my professors at the university is a basic teaching that I tell all parent clients today:
“After we became parents, we never forgot that we are husband and wife.”
Years have passed and by adding my own perspective to this teaching; I say that no role we have in our lives is more important than our role as self. Because how can I internalize other roles without me? I believe that when we can harmonize the teachings of society, norms and our family with our self-awareness, our quality of life and psychological resilience will be much better.
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