A word we hear frequently lately is Self-compassion. And when it comes to the implementation part, we have the most difficulty... Because we are so used to looking at ourselves through the eyes of others... When this is the case, self-criticism, self-criticism, reproach for the slightest mistake, self-punishment, etc. are rampant. Our lives are already hurting because of something. We also kick ourselves. We blame ourselves. Or we don't allow ourselves to cry, for example. Let's say we found ourselves crying and then we said, “How can you cry!? How can you be so tripleless!?” We say this and embarrass ourselves. Let me tell you from the beginning, all these things you have read and perhaps more like these that come to your mind while reading, explain the lack of self-compassion.
Who are these others? Our family, our friends, our neighbor, our teacher or someone else… One thing or another… What is certain is that they could not look at us from where we needed. Systematically… Not just once or twice. This could be the subject of another article in itself.
Now I want you to think about the person you value most in your life. Please find that thing or person first and then continue reading the rest of the article.
If you found it, that person is sitting next to you right now. Very sad. He experienced something he never wanted to experience in his life. It hurts so much that he blames himself. He says bad things. He thinks that he is useless, one of the few, that he deserves to experience this, that he is even a little. He is helpless, not knowing what to do. How do you feel towards him? Would you also get angry at him, shout and blame him? Or do you think that he is being unfair to himself, that he is being too hard on himself, and try to help him, at least understand his feelings and calm him down? Or maybe you just think that a hug can be good. You want to be. You try to think and find out what might be good for him. Your brain is activated in this direction. This is exactly what compassion is. Self-compassion is our ability to do all these things to ourselves.
Each of us has an enormous reservoir of self-compassion that we may not have discovered until now. An undeniably huge treasure. We're just used to using it for other people all the time. We have been led to believe that using it for ourselves is selfish. It's time to wake up from this misconception. Because the thing that needs us most is ourselves! And unless we use this treasure for ourselves, our soul will continue to suffer for various reasons.
First of all, we should start by noticing the moments when we suffer. We cannot help ourselves in situations where we cannot consciously say, "What I am experiencing right now hurts, makes me sad, makes me angry, makes me anxious." After realizing this, the second step is to intend to help ourselves at all costs (because sometimes someone may not like the fact that we think about ourselves and want to help ourselves). If the intention stage is completed, “How can I support myself now? How can I help? How can I show compassion to myself?” Asking questions and pursuing answers. Once we make the intention and pursue it, rest assured that the answers will begin to come in rapid succession.
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