Children need to understand the rules of the world they live in. They want to know what is expected of them, how far they can go, and what will happen when they go further: their limits. Because they feel safe in a world with defined boundaries. The child does not initially know what is necessary for him, what is more useful and important. Children need parents who make their lives safe with various arrangements until they complete the early stages of their personality development. Parents have to protect the child by setting some rules and limits, and to gain the necessary skills for social adaptation by developing good habits without harming him/herself. The child's learning many things about life and becoming self-sufficient requires both the right guidance from the parents and the opportunity to give the child an opportunity. So why do children need boundaries? Through boundaries, children learn to respect each other. He determines his private space and learns not to violate the private space of others. Boundaries serve as a guide in determining relationships with other people. It gives the child a sense of trust. Boundaries give the child the right to choose. Thanks to the limits, the child perceives the existing concretely. If the child is constantly blocked, his questioning, research and curiosity will be blunted. How and in what form the boundaries and rules against children should be determined by the parents (the concept of boundaries); however, the characteristics brought by the child's own temperament affect this situation. While determining the limits, the needs and wishes of the child should be taken into consideration.
When Setting the Boundaries... Boundaries define approved behaviors. Have you ever tried to go on a road where there are very few signposts? Without clear signs to keep you in the right direction, you're more likely to make wrong turns and run into problems. This is also the case for children who are trying to learn acceptable behavior. As long as the boundaries are clear and clear, it will be easier for children to understand and follow. Mixed Stylish messages cause your child to not understand what is being asked of them and therefore not be able to apply the rule. While applying the rules, it is important that the parents decide on the rule together and apply the rule in the same way. Another important aspect of consistency is that the rule is always valid. If a rule is sometimes enforced and sometimes stretched, it becomes a confusing message for the child.
If Your Child Doesn't Follow the Rules You Have Set... If your child does not follow a rule you have set together, first repeat the rule with a calm tone of voice. While doing this, be sure to be on the same level as your child and make eye contact. While repeating the rule, try to say “I expect you to do......” with a firm but not harsh tone, instead of words like “Please, I beg you.” Due to the inability to understand abstract concepts, children may have difficulty in listening to, remembering and understanding the explanations made by their parents. For this reason, instead of explaining too much, what is appropriate and what is not suitable for the child should be explained in a short and simple way. The communication you establish with your child before a problem arises will also be effective in following the rules you set. However, when you establish good communication with your child, your child will be willing to listen to you and do what you want. Otherwise, “disobedience” can be a result that emerges as an expression of anger towards parents and as a reaction to parents. Failure to comply with the rules can sometimes be caused by attitudes towards parents, sometimes by the need for attention, and sometimes by inappropriate parental attitudes. Therefore, the real solution to the problem is not when the child does not comply with the rule, but in the arrangements to be made in his general life.
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