There is a misconception seen in many clients who apply for psychotherapy; The mistake of controlling everything... However, there are things in life that we cannot control. Death and diseases are beyond our control. A person can only arrange his own house the way he wants and control the interior of his house. Thus, he falls into the illusion that he can control the whole world. There is also the emotional side of things. Emotions are passed from generation to generation both genetically and by observing and copying from our parents. Both good and bad emotions are passed from the mother or caregiver to the child. If the mother is a very anxious person, that child may also be anxious when he becomes an adult.
What is healthy is for a person to be able to experience all emotions when necessary. If a person gives a very relaxed and carefree impression to those around him, it means he is probably suppressing his anxiety. For example, if the client talks too much in therapy, it means that the ability to remain silent and silent has not been developed. The therapist can make the client realize this in sessions and improve his/her ability to remain silent. In fact, the healthiest thing is for the person to sometimes talk a lot, sometimes to a moderate level, and sometimes not to talk at all. If the client stays at one pole of this, that is, talks too much most of the time, he may have negative traumas related to his childhood. When the client, who talks a lot, remains silent in the sessions, these memories come to consciousness from the unconscious, and as the person comes into contact with the other pole, memories and images about the past come to his brain.
In therapies, negative traumas do not appear immediately in the first sessions. As the client experiences new things in therapy, new synapses and protein syntheses are formed in his brain. The client feels better in the first three or four sessions as he establishes a secure bond with the therapist. In the following sessions of therapy, negative childhood experiences and pain emerge. People often cause pain Avoids talking about domestic issues and feeling sad or anxious. In therapies, it is important for the client to experience the bad emotion (pain, sadness, fear, anger...) and remain in that emotion.
For therapy, the person must define a problem in himself and come to get help in this way. Well; Things like “I want to improve my relationships with people” or “I want my partner to treat me better” are not the subject of therapy. A person must be able to take responsibility for himself; Such as "I cannot control my anger in my relationships with people", "I have difficulty expressing myself"...
Read: 0
