perfectionism

Perfectionist people always live in two extremes, that is, for them it is all or nothing, black or white. They do not stick to the things in between, they always oscillate between two extremes. They do not allow mistakes in their lives easily, but they expect a high level of success from both themselves and others without making mistakes, and when they do not get what they want, they get negative feelings and thoughts. We can explain perfectionism under two separate headings: positive and negative perfectionism. In positive perfectionism, when people fail at any job they do or the outcome of the job does not turn out as they wanted, they accept their failures and think about how to fix the situation next time, while also learning from their mistakes. A person with positive perfectionism tries not to make mistakes because he wants to be perfect while doing his job, but even when the result is negative, he does not lose his mood because of the result, does not wear himself out, and realizes the mistakes he made. Those with negative perfectionism immediately go into depressive mode when the results of their work do not turn out the way they want. Because for them, there is no room for error in their lives, and since they try to keep everything in their lives under control, they act as if everything is over at the slightest negativity. Sometimes, they think that the outcome of the job will not turn out the way they want and do not attempt to do it from the beginning.

So, if we are perfectionists or on the way to becoming perfectionists, how can we get out of this situation?

First of all, we must start by accepting that there are no concepts such as a perfect person, perfect personality, character, ideal person, ideal personality in life. Because while being a perfectionist, you are stuck with these concepts too much, so you cannot use these concepts. We feel like we have to remind you.

We cannot keep everything under control in life, after a point things may get out of our control. Blaming ourselves or wearing ourselves out in such situations will not gain us anything, on the contrary, it will make us feel worthless in the future. Stop setting goals that are too high for you to achieve. Because when these goals are set and you cannot achieve the result, you will blame yourself and experience many negative emotions (e.g. guilt, anger, shame, hatred). Try not to live your life result-oriented. On the way to the result, you may have achieved many things without realizing it, but when you constantly focus on the result, you ignore the good and successful things that happen.

Remember that; everyone can make mistakes. The important thing is to learn from mistakes. This sentence may sound very cliché, but it is a very true sentence. You have already tried to be a perfectionist enough so far. From now on, give yourself the luxury of making some mistakes, and when you make a mistake, try to realize what you did right and wrong on the way to the result, not directly to the result.

Finally, if you are negative or what you want. In the face of a situation that does not result in something like this, ask yourself this question; Did I do my best? Do I have a clear conscience about the things I have done? . If your answers are yes, do not get stuck in situations that did not turn out the way you wanted, do not let these situations make you feel bad or lower your mood. If somewhere in your answers it says "I could have done this or I could have acted like that", confront what you did wrong and try not to do it in the next time, but no matter what, do not dwell on the past result and always look ahead.

Remember that everyone can make mistakes, it will be beneficial for us to learn from those mistakes, not to accept our mistakes and ignore them or to beat ourselves up because of our mistakes.

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