The power of words in communication is ten percent, the power of tone of voice is thirty percent, and the power of body language is six percent.
Words have less impact in communication than body language and tone of voice; It is very important for us because it is effective, it is used appropriately, it makes us think that we can express ourselves, it proves our existence, it is effective in declaring our freedom, it makes us think that I and my ideas are valuable, and sometimes it makes us think that we can protect our rights and prevent injustice.
One of the problems experienced by individuals who want to be quick-witted is that what they want to say comes to mind later rather than at that moment. After communication, complaints such as 'I wish I had said that!', 'Why didn't I think of that at that moment?' appear.
Another situation is that he thinks of things to say but cannot express them. They summarize their situation with expressions such as 'It was on the tip of my tongue at that moment, but I couldn't say it', 'What I was going to say was stuck in my throat, but I couldn't speak out'.
In order to avoid any harm in communication, our focus is always on what we will say, how we will say it, and then how we will respond within the possibilities of his/her answer. . In this case, we cannot focus on the content of the conversation and keep the entire focus on ourselves. We cannot listen to the other party, we cannot express ourselves adequately and we hinder the flow of the conversation. Such situations in which we focus on ourselves increase our anxiety and cause us to forget, panic, our voice shakes, make speech errors, etc.
If we experience our need for approval intensely, the possibility of encountering an idea other than our own makes us very nervous. If we cannot freely present our own opinion and do not value our opinions, we are more likely to exalt the other party's opinion. Individuals who are faced with this situation have desires such as 'I wish I could read what is going on in the other person's mind!' Actually, there is no need for this. We must accept that we do not have to agree with the other person and ensure that our opinions are respected. Likewise, we need to be respectful of the other party's ideas and feelings. 'Your ideas 'I respect your opinion, but I think about it this way'.
Another situation is the concern of 'what if I am rejected' rather than disapproval. If our ideas disturb the other party so much that they reject us, this shows the other party's sensitivity, not ours. If we always try to act according to this sensitivity, we will not be able to raise the child within us and our ideas will rot before they blossom. And that's why no one has to like our ideas, they don't have to approve them, they don't have to appreciate them, they don't have to find them right, they don't have to believe them either.
In communication, rather than wanting to be a ready-made answer, we can introspect and see where we are lacking. We must discover and look for solutions on how to repair ourselves.
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