"It has potential, but it doesn't work, it doesn't work"
Isn't this phrase familiar? You've probably heard this word or heard it said for someone from your distant and close circle.
Is this the truth of the matter? So is there any truth to this sentence? Let's look at the course of the article if you want.
Let's look at the emotions in this sentence: We can say that there are feelings of "blame, pressure, anger and helplessness".
It is also often equated with "laziness". So that's because he's lazy. It is said that if he had worked a little, where would he be now? So now we need to talk a little bit about laziness. When the dictionary meaning of the word lazy is taken into account, it means that he does not like to work, does not like to work, escapes from boredom, is lazy, slow. Well, being lazy will help, because people are lazy. So, what can be the contribution of the laziness attributed to many people in our society to these people? Because we know that the brain wants to work for its own benefit. Well, what is the benefit of laziness?
The answer is of course, laziness, not thinking and not working have great contributions to people. because we know that there is a spiritual conflict behind the undesired behaviors and that person cannot resolve that spirituality right now. In that case, these behaviors will bring the person to a spiritual balance. Let's open this up a little more now;
Winnicott says that there is no baby in nature alone. There is a mother and a baby. Then, if we update this word for students, we can say that; There is no single student apart from family, teacher, environment, school and education system. I suggest you add this in your mind: family, student and teacher feel insecure in the education system that is becoming uncertain, constantly and rapidly changing day by day. And since the perception policy regulated in education is "competence" alone, individuality is of course overshadowed. Therefore; For the child, who is under the invading influence of the expectations of the outside world, if he does not have the spiritual equipment to meet these expectations, he is dragged to a traumatic place.
So what does being able to work depend on?
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The child's ability to be separated from their parents at first
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To control their impulses
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Having an interest in “knowing”
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Sometimes
The difficulty in all the situations I mentioned above will be laziness at best, manifested by unresponsiveness. Think of it like this; The child wants to be a kind of passive independence by putting a limit in daily life due to the fact that his parents enter the body limit. Let's explain with an example: the child loses his control over his own body in the face of the food that is put in too much with the intervention of the mother at dinner. The child is thus pacified. It is in this passivity that the child shows us the way of saying NO by not working, that is, by taking an active role in laziness. In other words, the child reveals the "INDIVIDUALITY" that he cannot get, by remaining inactive, as LAZY.
Does the problem of laziness always involve a passive position? No, as a matter of fact, there are many differences between "being lazy" and "being lazy". Laziness is an act that one does intentionally. It is a choice. It is the desire to pursue his free time and create a space for himself. As long as it is found, it is a state of taking a distance from the order to which it belongs. Thus, it will be possible to be active by “revolting” and therefore laziness.
Being lazy is far from a conscious choice. Based on the image of the student who does not do his homework in case of being lazy, we can say that there is a big obstacle in front of working, thinking and acting. If we look at the sentence again, are children who do not use their potential become LAZY? Maybe they can be children who resist the speed of time and the education system and progress at their own pace? Or can we say that the changing interests with adolescence undoubtedly push the adolescents away from the lessons? There may be children who cannot stay alone, cannot work, and moreover, do not understand. er. There may be children who can do it at home but cannot do it at school. Thinking and therefore working is painful for these children. Because wherever he needs to think, he must return to his inner world. If the inner world of the child is dangerous, the child breaks away from his "INNER". Therefore, these children remain out of place and homeless in the system.
If we do not ask the question of a child's "inner" and first place, our article will be incomplete. The child finds a place in his mother's first fantasies. A child must find a place not only in the womb, but also in his mother's mind, that is, in his phantasy. The mother, who often dreams and feels her baby during pregnancy, means that she has made room in her soul apart from her body in her stomach. In fact, the basis of mother's love is here. With birth, the baby comes into a world full of confusion and experiences anxiety-filled experiences. The child gives all these difficult experiences to the mother, and the mother transforms these anxieties and gives meaning to this difficult process for the child. And so the door of thought opens for the child. In other words, in order for the child to think, it is necessary to think first and make sense of what he or she experiences. For example, if his mother says to the child whose head falls on the side of the crib and cries, it will alleviate the child's small but big anxiety for us:
"Ooo mom, your head hit the cradle and it hurts, it'll pass soon, I'm with you" or just picks him up and hugs him It's like saying I'm here. Here's what Bion says: "The mother's phantasy ability enables her and her baby to be open, sensitive and tolerant of not only beautiful emotions but also difficult and complex emotions."
So what happens when a mother cannot cover for her baby? We hear from many mothers: "I was not well after birth, my mind was divided, it was as if I could not love my baby, I did not want to love" etc. When the situation is like this, the fish almost breaks off from the head and the baby cannot do what the mother cannot do. Therefore, he cannot be aware of his own wishes, feelings and thoughts. This situation also creates an obstacle to symbolization, which is the basis of learning. A child who cannot symbolize cannot think, design or even learn.
Teachers, on the other hand, often experience this problem in the classroom like this: they said they don't listen. Most of the children with whom they have children do not actually understand the process in front of them in this problematic. Such children have difficulty in conveying the information they have learned, transforming it into something else, and cannot connect the questions asked with the information they have learned. Since it is difficult to stay where one cannot understand, and it is dangerous to return to the inner world, they try to balance this difficult spiritual process by leaning on the concrete, moving too much, talking a lot, and forgetting. consists of an islet. For this reason, she demands from her mother and teacher to establish this bond that she could not. The child is almost saying: please think of me and think of what I will think.
Making room for the child in the minds of the teacher and the caregiver family, covering their concerns, and trying to establish a secure bond will positively affect the child's learning activities and facilitate this process.
As a result, while the child is learning, he has to return to his inner world to think, seek knowledge and make connections. Children with learning difficulties are those who run away from their inner world. Therefore, they prefer to invest in concrete areas. Moving, talking, not stopping, not laughing but never thinking. Thought is a few seconds before the solution of that mathematical problem, or the millisecond connecting two letters. Since these seconds are quite frightening and threatening for these children, running away would be the most reasonable way.
Experts in this field recommend that parents and teachers read epics, fairy tales, mythological stories with children. There are uncontrollable emotions and impulses such as destructiveness, abandonment, fear in stories and fairy tales. Since the blockage in learning is avoidance of thought, the child must first experience this world, which also contains destructive elements, so that thought is not scary. Exchanging thoughts, drawing and writing with the child about what is read will undoubtedly provide a safe entrance to the inner world and thus exit.
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