The human mind can think and process the past, present and future at the same time. We continue our lives by building many positive and negative memories from the past to the present. From childhood to the present, we first work with the stimuli in that moment and then record it as a permanent learning. This recorded learning; It may contain an emotion that makes us feel uncomfortable, that we would like to escape, to be protected. Therefore, the mind is on full alert with intense anxiety from the repetition of such a situation.
While we can find the opportunity to resolve some of the negativities in the past, we carry some of them to the future by burdening ourselves. With such a heavy load, it becomes increasingly difficult to continue on, and we begin to think that we are tired and even as if we are spinning around in a never-ending vicious circle. remains as it is and begins to rule our lives. To explain with an example; If a person who has been bullied in childhood, humiliated in the classroom, and mocked by his friends has considered this memory as a way to be kept in his approach towards people, a risk to be taken into account, if he has not received sufficient approval, appreciation and acceptance from his environment and family; He tries to read the thoughts of others in his interpersonal communication, makes an effort to control and realize what is thought about himself, avoids speaking that he believes to be humiliating, and sometimes fails to communicate. When a memory is also fed by various sources, it may have formed a thought system that manages, determines and controls all interpersonal communication, it may think and experience that it cannot establish deep emotional bonds, cannot be understood, or that it is always in communication that is open to misunderstandings.
The first of the effects we get from a bad memory is our anxiety about re-experiencing it. However, the developing avoidance and control mechanisms complicate the work and thus strengthen its place in our daily lives. dodge or a situation we are working on is actively remembered and reprocessed in our minds.
In order to cope with our bad memories, talking about the event, situation and emotion, reprocessing and evaluating it with a present perspective; It is necessary to avoid making over-generalizations, reading minds and trying to predict the future. During the psychotherapy process, it will be possible to notice and rearrange all these.
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