For a child, his mother and father represent the world. The child thinks that everyone in the world will behave the same way as his mother and father behave. And himself in his own world. Well; The child's perception of the world and himself is shaped by his parents' behavior towards him. With the behavior of parents towards the child, the child's self-perception and self-esteem begins to form. The child can create this perception by feeling "I am valuable" or "I am worthless". Or perceptions such as "I am so worthless" or "I am so valuable that nothing or no one else can be more valuable than this"... Of course, other perceptions can also develop other than these. I am valuable because my parents tell me my value in the following way. These points are very important in the child's perception. These points give us information about how he feels valuable and how he perceives the people who value him. How do parents express the values they give to their children? What is the equivalent of material or spiritual value? Do we express that we care about our children by buying them gifts, taking them for a ride, or doing whatever they want? Or by touching them, kissing them and smelling them? Or by spending time with him? Or is it important for us to meet his needs? Do we show the value we give to him with our words or our actions? How do we express the value we attach to him with our body language? Or are rewards and punishments in return for the value we give to him? So how does he understand and interpret the value we give him? Can we convey the message we really want to give to him? Each of these questions is so important individually... All of these and the relationships we establish with our children actually reflect our parenting style.
While some of the parenting skills are genetic, some of them are based on social values, needs and the personality of the parents. It is shaped by its features. Parents' belief system also affects the child's behavioral and emotional development by shaping parenting behaviors, as well as forming the child's belief system. In developmental psychology, parenting styles are generally grouped under 4 headings:
1)O stricter Parenting Style: In this type of parenting style, the child is expected to follow and comply with strict rules. In case of non-compliance with the rules, the result is punishment. Parents may have difficulty conveying to their children the reasons for the rules. Generally, limited explanations such as "Because I want it that way, because I am your mother/father" are made. It wants the child to follow the parent's demands without questioning. It is threatening. The child obeys the rules he is asked to follow, but he does this with fear and anxiety to avoid punishment or negative situations that may happen to him. Punishment can be physical or emotional. It can also reach the level of abuse. It can be seen that such children have low self-confidence, are more dependent and have lower self-esteem.
2) Democratic Parenting Style: Democratic parents determine the rules that their children must follow. However, unlike the authoritarian parent, he/she explains to his child what the rules are for, creates these rules by making a common agreement with his child when necessary, and does not impose unnecessary and unreasonable rules. He is sensitive and sensitive to his child's needs. Their expectations from their child are more appropriate to the child's development and structure. In cases where the child cannot meet expectations, he tries to understand more and looks for a solution instead of a punitive attitude. Rather than intervening in their children's lives, they prefer to guide their children and act supportively. It can be seen that children raised with a democratic parenting style are responsible, able to manage their emotions, more patient and understanding, have higher self-confidence and higher self-esteem.
3) Neglectful Parenting Style: Neglectful parents ignore their children's needs. They do not realize and neglect their physical and emotional needs. Parents with this parenting style have low expectations from their children and poor communication with their children. It can be seen that children with this type of parent have low self-control and low self-confidence.
4) Permissive Parenting Style: Parents with a permissive parenting style have very low expectations of responsibility from their children, and at the same time, they may not consider themselves sufficient as a parent. . That's why they don't impose rules on their children. they prefer. He is sensitive towards his children, but their communication and relationships are more like friends than parents. In this type of parenting style, which has difficulty setting boundaries, children do not feel safe because they do not have certain boundaries. At the same time, they may have difficulty in environments where there are rules and authority. For this reason, they often have school adaptation problems.
The parenting style of our parents during childhood and their behavior towards us have significant effects on our current personality. Apart from our parenting style, it is also very important that the relationship we establish with our child is a functional and emotional relationship.
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