We need to understand well what privacy means. Privacy comes from the concept of mahrem. Privacy is the education of politeness, the education of emotions, the education of boundaries, the ability to draw social boundaries, the acquisition of the ability to say no, the development of reflexes, the key to protecting the child's self and body, and learning the limits of himself and others.
Privacy reminds us of itself in every aspect of life. , it should also be reminded. If we put privacy in a narrow framework; We cannot give due credit to privacy, mercy-justice-respect etc. We empty out other virtues and make our lives barren. The more carefully we embed privacy into our social life and life; The better we know ourselves and our environment, the more accurately we determine our boundaries and increase our quality of life. While trying to pay attention to information privacy, location privacy, family privacy, business privacy, information privacy and many more, failure to pay attention to social environment privacy will make attention to other privacy areas insufficient.
PRIVACY ON SOCIAL MEDIA
Social media have made the lives of most of us louder and more visible. As social media became more prevalent in our lives, we experienced violations in our private boundaries, some of our attitudes and behaviors, and we were faced with normalizing these violations for both ourselves and others. While we committed these privacy violations of our own free will, these violations brought with them insensitivity.
The desire to be noticed in social media, the desire to be seen, and the need to exist through those media inevitably returned to our lives as some negativities. It seems like we have forgotten our inner sources of happiness… How many followers do I have, how many likes have I received, etc. When situations became the center of life, there was no longer any social privacy, private life privacy, relationship privacy, or information privacy. Trying to exist by taking a place in someone else's life or by receiving applause and likes can cause deep wounds in a person's soul in the long run. In fact, while internal sources of happiness should be more prominent in a person's life, these and similar external sources of happiness began to invade a person's life. It should not be forgotten This is because life invaded by social media begins to tire the soul. In such situations, we must reckon with ourselves by raising the level of our inner voice. Of course, everyone wants to be loved and admired. What needs to be taken into consideration here are the situations in which the balance begins to slip away, the presence of thoughts that begin to sink into the mind like a splinter, and the mind and fingers being constantly on social media. We need to remember that we do not have long enough to always seek praise and appreciation.
Not social media; Social relationships established in social environments should be our priority. I should not forget that staying in a relationship, how important relationships are, and continuing to exist cannot only be self-centered, that this is an illusion, and that I will be stronger when I am in a relationship. Living "me"-centered brings with it completely different problems. That's why mind and life must be moved from the "I" climate to the "we climate". At this point, we must be able to incorporate social and intimate boundaries into our lives. Think about how enjoyable or meaningful it would be if the big city was only yours but there were no people or life in it?
Communication means being in a relationship. Human is a social entity; It grows, develops and gains meaning through a network of relationships. A person makes his self and his life stronger and more meaningful with the presence of others he interacts with. The social environments an individual enters and the relationships established in these environments are important and improving in terms of psychological capital.
We have now better understood the value of some of our habits, which are restricted in our daily lives during the pandemic process we are in, and how they strengthen our psychological resilience. Strangely enough, people understand better the value of what they have when they are about to lose it or when they lose it. For example, our simple walks, the coffee we drink with our loved ones, being able to hug them freely and chat, staying in touch, etc. We understood very well what great blessings these situations are. This process was a time during which people could do their inner accounting very easily. As humanity, it is difficult but important that we can control ourselves in many areas such as our pros and cons, our relationship quality, how we approach people, our compassion and many other areas. We are going through difficult times.
THE LIFE OF COMPLAINING
The age we live in makes us live fast. But the pandemic involuntarily slowed down the process and started our internal accounting. With the speed at which we are carried away in daily life, perhaps we are moving away from ourselves, deceiving ourselves without realizing it.
Unfortunately, we always complain, we knowingly act as porters of the past, we prefer unhappiness, we feed on the problems of the past and hold on tightly to them, Not seeing what we have; We waste our life behind what we cannot have... In short, we forget to be grateful.
We need to look at the pros of life, focusing too much on the cons is deliberately keeping the fire of unhappiness alive. It should not be forgotten that constantly complaining will not contribute to or improve human life. A person who feeds on complaining cannot enjoy life. A person should focus on the positive aspects of life for a more peaceful life.
A person who cannot enjoy life is not limited to himself; he begins to bore, tire and alienate those around him. That's when that person's loneliness begins. A person should look at the advantages he has and hold on to them tightly. We must approach life in a solution-oriented manner and read life correctly in order to adopt the principle of pursuing a solution to every problem encountered. At this point, I would like to tell a story. A person was walking complaining that his shoes were wearing out and were making him uncomfortable. He saw a man with no feet and walking with a cane. He was ashamed of himself and his complaints and chose the path of gratitude.
ONE MUST LOVE THEMSELVES
Whatever you don't like, dislike, or don't want to spend time with, you won't let into your life. If we start from here; A person must first love himself and invest in himself. Communication with oneself is very important. In this communication, the person's relationship with himself, how much he can get along with himself, how at peace he is with himself and how much he loves himself are important factors.
A person must love himself in good times and bad times, in sickness and in health. You know, when you get married, you are safe in good times, bad times, and in sickness. When it comes to questions, we say yes; Just as you say yes to a life with your spouse to any situation that comes your way in your marriage journey; You should be able to say yes to yourself in every problem you encounter in your life journey.
I'm not talking about something related to that narcissist structure, I'm talking about loving yourself in order to be more useful to others and to be more compassionate.
When we love and value ourselves, we establish truer and more meaningful relationships in social environments. Self-love; They are important resources in terms of sufficient internal dynamics and psychological resilience. A person who knows himself, communicates with himself, is busy with himself, and concentrates on his own dilemmas and impasses, realizes his shortcomings; He progresses in his mercy, privacy, justice and all his other virtues. He is beneficial to himself, his relatives, society, in short, humanity, and leaves a mark. In short, one must love oneself. Think about it, would you invest in something that you don't like, that you don't like, that isn't good for you?
COMMERCY
Mercy; It encompasses all the moral virtues engraved in our creation, softens the heart by eliminating the hardness and gloom of the heart, heals the soul-body-human being, warms and softens the heart, enlightens the intelligence, enables love to replace hatred. It is the greatest and most valuable treasure.
Mehmet; It is compassion, caring, trusting, giving confidence, sharing, self-sacrifice, empathy, helping hand, tears, love, tolerance, patience, justice, responsibility, humility, sensitivity, source of healing for the soul.
Compassion, voluntarily from myself. It is a process in which I contribute something and am active. Compassion means taking action with the pain of the other person, not being able to stand still due to the pain of the other person, and giving something of myself for the other person. Like time, attention, loyalty, patience, love…
Compassion means not hardening the heart. Mercy means that this heart is not blind. They say that a person's eye may not be blind, but his heart may become blind. The one whose heart is blind becomes merciless, the one who is merciless moves away from inner peace, and the one who moves away from inner peace is not good for himself or the other person.
A person who shows mercy will save his soul, his body. It heals your home and mind.
PRIVACY OF SOCIAL ENVIRONMENT
First of all, we need to fill in what we perceive and understand when it comes to social environment. Let's continue by defining the social environment. Family is the first social environment we are born into. Our personality, our perspective on life, our stance, and our beliefs are shaped by what we see in the structure we are born into. In the family, we learn and observe everything and enrich our skills and innate virtues. The skills we acquired there are also the preparatory stages of our socialization process. It should also not be forgotten that the skills we acquire in our first social environment strengthen our psychological resilience. The family is the place where the child can gain awareness of privacy in every field. With the school period, the child steps into his first and major social structure outside the home. And he puts into practice the skills he acquired in the family, which is the first social structure, in his school life.
THE EFFECTS OF CHILDHOOD ON US
All kinds of attitudes, attitudes and behaviors that we experience, see and behave towards us in our early childhood have their effects in many areas throughout our adult life. . Of course, I feel obliged to open this parenthesis right here. Man is always born again. We must never forget this. What can we do, I grew up in such a family until I was 6 years old, they treated me like this, and this is how I am. This idea is unacceptable.
Childhood shapes our personality, but our life does not consist of childhood. None of us are just our childhood. Childhood experiences and family should not be the scapegoat for every negativity, and the blame should not be placed on childhood or parents. A person should not allow his mind to remain stuck in his 5-6 year old self. God gave us wisdom, perception and time... We grow older and learn in the journey of life.
When we look at the way a child laughs, talks, eats or plays, we see traces of his family. It gives information about the child's upbringing to those who read the child's attitudes and behaviors correctly. At this point, the attitudes and personality structures of the parents come into play.
Our children are entrusted to us. We strive to return our relics to society in the best possible way.
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