Virginia Satir, one of the founders of family therapy, states that ninety-five percent of families are inadequate, unhealthy, anxious, and incapable of coping with even daily problems. Parents who grew up in unhealthy families transmit this painful legacy from generation to generation until the circle is broken. The basis of this dysfunctional, sick family lies in the individuals' loss of their 'real self'. This is the underlying element of personality disorders such as alcoholism, workaholism, drug addiction, gambling and fanaticism.
Our needs begin from the moment we come into the world. In a healthy family, parents meet their needs in healthy ways. They also become a good model for their children.
The distinction between “real me” and “false me” is the difference between healthy and unhealthy development. We try to be the liar me; The armor we wear against attacks from within or outside the family, and which gradually becomes our own. For many of us, as children of unhappy families that always suppress our true self, this is learning to live and adapting to life! Once hurt, the true self withdraws and hides, and the child develops a false identity to survive. All this suppression of the true self sometimes results in an unhealthy explosion, coming to the surface in a form described as a personality disorder.
But what to do? The healing process has two important results: First, the individual KNOWS THEMSELVES, feels more creative, more complete, that is, loves himself and life. Secondly, he passes this beauty, joy of life and creativity to his children. Only in this way can the vicious circle be broken and a more beautiful world established.
When education is mentioned, what comes to mind is 'learning'. Since educational institutions understand their duties in this way, 'education' remains in the middle. Since we left education to the Recep İvedik model, there is not much to say to our children. However, we should ask the question 'Where are we doing wrong?' without crying and whining. And we must answer:
Competent personality can be defined in ten dimensions:
1-Being understanding, perceptive, awareness.
2-Being patient. Being able to see the future.
3-Being durable and determined, Not giving up.
4-Being responsible.
5-Being hard-working. To understand the importance of working.
6-To accept one's mistake.
7-To want to correct one's mistake, to make an effort and to correct it.
8-To events, people and issues. Being able to look objectively.
9-Being fair.
10-Being able to empathize.
Now, these ten dimensions are 'competence' criteria in each age group, in accordance with their own development line. should be taken into consideration. A three-year-old child, a 13-year-old adolescent, and a 33-year-old adult are either competent or not competent according to these criteria.
These ten dimensions are areas of competence in which both academic intelligence and social intelligence function. Of course, "Competent Personality Education" begins with the birth of the child. Family, kindergarten, primary, secondary and high school should know how to implement this education with an integrated system and implement it. Then, they should measure where they are in this education.
Because "LIFE SUCCESS" is directly related to these answers.
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