The word spouse is used in situations that are identical to each other. Like our two feet, our ears, our shoes and our earrings. However, in some cases, we describe each other as spouses in two very different situations. The most common of these today is that we use the word spouse for husband and wife.
In fact, when two people who are different in many respects join their lives under the name of marriage, they suddenly start to be called spouses. When we get married, are we looking for a person who has the same characteristics as us, or are we looking for a person who complements us with different characteristics? Of course, are we looking for the complementary person?
If the husband and wife are spouses, why do they exhibit such opposite behavior?
The man we call our spouse pays attention to the harmony of clothes, make-up, It is generally unknown whether he pays as much attention to hair care as his wife, or whether he knows as well as a man the car brands, which team has transferred which football player, like a man. If so, what kind of spouses are they?
- Using the word spouse is not out of place. Is it?
- No one wants a spouse when they get married, so what can they do? If a person doesn't look for himself in the other person when he gets married, what is he looking for?
- Is the person I'm going to marry good or bad? Can we agree on this issue?
- Can we act harmoniously towards each other?
- Can we carry each other in society?
- Can he maintain his respect forever even if he loses his love?…
Thousands of questions like this keep going around in our minds.
We can never find the answers to these, and even if we find positive answers to every question at that moment, there is no guarantee that it will not change in the future. For this, we must make clear decisions about ourselves. Why we got married; Do we get married to get rid of the pressure from our family and the people around us, or do we get married because we are sure that we want to continue with that person for the rest of our lives. Even though these two people want to marry each other, other factors can cause a blow to the marriage institution before it is established.
Can couples adapt to each other's families and cultures, or do they argue even on small issues at the very beginning of the journey? Are they tired?
If the incompatibilities continue to be evident, marriage is a risky path for two people.
Before setting out on the path of marriage, couples should answer the question of what they are looking for in the other person and understand the other person. The person should find out whether these are present or not. For example, if you do not want a husband or wife who smokes, if the candidate in front of you has this behavior, taking a step towards marriage without discussing and solving this behavior that will become a problem in the future with the logic of "I will somehow get them to quit after marriage" will be another risk. So far we have understood that we must first know ourselves and determine what we want from the other party. Just as it is difficult to achieve success if we start a business by saying "I will do whatever it takes, brother", it will be difficult to achieve happiness if we get married without determining what we want in marriage.
What do we want from marriage? love, affection, respect, trust, excitement, a religious family, peace or support...?
We must determine which are our priorities.
When we take the step of marriage, should we say love or love?
What can we say, we should be able to say love, because love is a feeling that blinds a person, makes the other person look perfect and makes him think that he cannot do without it. However, love is making the other person feel that we need them, being happy with them, realizing our shortcomings and tolerating them. So, we should be sure of our love in a relationship, not of our lover. Another important point is to be able to talk. Not being able to talk is a destructive factor for marriage. You should be a couple with whom you can talk about your happiness, your problems, your mind-opening information, in short, everything. If couples can achieve this communication, they will have succeeded in taking a solid step towards marriage.
Age factor is also important in marriages. Couples should decide to get married when they reach maturity to take marital responsibilities. This should be 20-25 years old for average women and 25 years old at the earliest for men. Finally, we should consult someone who knows about the people we will marry. You should consult a person whose opinion we trust and who can interpret you impartially and, if possible, a professional person. Because a person cannot make healthy decisions about his own relationship, especially if he is in love. emotions person It can take over and prevent you from making the right decision. These do not mean that others will decide who we will marry.
After evaluating all these, you should make the marriage decision.
Hope you find your life partner
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