All couples, whether married, engaged or in a long-term relationship, sometimes need support and sometimes need to change some established wrong thought patterns in order to strengthen and maintain their relationship. Undoubtedly, every relationship, whether it is marriage or a long-term relationship, has its ups and downs, but the desire of every couple who shares their lives is for their relationship to always be fresh and sincere, "like the first day", and even to get better as time goes by. We also come across such examples of "ideal couples" around us. What does this ideal harmony actually mean? What makes a relationship ideal, the most perfect relationship two people can experience throughout their lives?
While most people describe what kind of person an ideal partner should be, they should be sexually attractive and sexy, independent, reliable, able to stand on their own feet, have a family and He wants him to have certain characteristics, such as being someone who gets along well with his friends, is natural, sincere, has a sense of humor, is easy to communicate with, and is appreciated by those around him. Of course, we all want to be with someone we love and who loves us. How will we understand that the person in front of us is the "right person" for us? Then, first test your answer to the four basic questions that show that two people can achieve "ideal harmony":
- Can you really be yourself when you are with him/her?
- When you're together, can you feel "at home"?
- When you're talking, can you understand each other, get along, plan together, and compromise without arguing too much?
- When you're with him, can you open your heart to him, And do you love life and living more? Can you feel that life is now full of new possibilities for you and that your soul is filled with hope and happiness?
Let's say you answer yes to these questions and you met someone who meets your criteria and you started to live a happy relationship above the clouds. I wonder how we can know that this relationship will truly be permanent and last a lifetime? Let's say that there are some rules to ensure that the relationship continues happily, as well as finding the right partner. Here are the tips for a happy relationship:
He/she is interestedg Do not use the imperative mood strong>.Do not make sentences such as “You should, you should”. Such words automatically create a feeling of guilt in the other person's subconscious. Telling someone to do something or how they should do something contains both an implicit judgment of rightness and a message of superiority – it indicates that you know something better than them, that you are superior to them, or that they have done something wrong. This causes the other person to become tense, to have negative feelings towards you, and to accumulate anger. Motivating people with guilt and judgment brings unhappiness instead of happiness. However, instead of giving orders about the issue that needs to be resolved, making suggestions, using neutral sentences, and leaving the decision on this issue to the other person will make the other person feel comfortable and act with the comfort of making their own decision. Your spouse can truly act like himself when you give him the right to make his own decisions instead of commands. Because your goal is to encourage your spouse to take responsibility, but while doing so, he/she will also protect himself/herself. It should be ensured that he acts with his own will. One way to do this is to make him think about his decision with correctly formulated questions. For example: "If you do it this way, won't you reduce your chances of getting the job you want?" Or: "Will this make you happy in the long run?" If you do this, you will no longer be a bossy and superior spouse in his eyes, but you will become a reference person that he can consult at the moment of decision and want to get your opinion. When he asks you what you think, you can support him to make his own decision after sharing your opinion with him. Message with the language "I" /strong>smake a sign. When couples start to experience tension in their communication, they often start to use expressions containing "you". In summary, "you always do this... you are like that... you are like this... you are nothing time…. These are sentences like "you don't do it". The intensity and dosage of these may increase depending on how angry one party is. Sentences starting from a simple accusation such as "You don't throw out the garbage unless I tell you to, I don't always remind you?" and ending with insulting phrases such as "What an idiot you are!" are examples of the negative and aggressive "you" language that poisons relationships. Not only do these not help solve the problem, they prevent us from establishing healthy communication with the other person, causing them to withdraw and become blunt. Using a kind, loving, and most importantly, non-accusatory "I" language in communication, speaking from our new perspective, sometimes in an understandable way, if we are hurt and broken, express it. For example: “I really get offended when you make plans without asking me – please let me know next time.” Or: “It upsets me when you come late every evening. I'm starting to think you don't want to come home and spend time with me. I know your work is very important, but I want to feel that I am important to you too. I want to be with you more because I love you.” In short, an “I” statement should have the following format: “When you are good, I feel good too, and I need you to be good.” Planning
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