From time to time, we experience unpleasant, unwanted, small or big arguments with our children, whom we consider superior to many others in our lives, for whom we would give our lives without hesitation. While these discussions are taking place, we often do not pay attention to the sentences we use and this can further intensify the discussion. When we sit down and think at the end of the day, we think about the sentences we said and often regret saying these sentences. As parents, we can act more authoritatively in our communication with younger children, and after a while, when we cannot agree with our children, we can make them accept what we want, but as they get older, this becomes a little more difficult. For this reason, it is important that we use the language of "me, not you" to children. When talking to children in I language, the parent expresses his/her own feelings by prioritizing them. In Sen language, it means expressing the child's feelings by prioritizing them. At some point, the "you" language causes us to adopt an accusatory attitude towards children. For example; In the face of a situation that makes us uncomfortable, sentences such as "This happened because of you, because you did this" to our child explain the concept of you language, while sentences such as "I was disturbed by this situation, I was saddened by what happened" explain the concept of I language. We need to pay attention to children's feelings during arguments. Because, in a moment of anger and tension, we may encounter situations that we will regret later, but will be engraved in our child's mind or will not be forgotten easily. We need to pay more attention to this issue, especially as personality development continues in young children. With our children who have reached adolescence, we should see them as individuals and listen carefully, valuing their feelings and thoughts more. In the face of behavior or thoughts we do not like, we should try to learn the reasons why they behave or think this way, rather than scolding, blaming, or hurting them.
We should not forget that children who can express themselves comfortably in childhood, without listening without understanding what they say or do. Children who are not exposed to their parents' reactions will be They become individuals with high self-confidence, strong communication skills, and who can communicate with their families much more easily.
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