During our medical life, we child psychiatrists face many difficult and intractable situations. He often finds, or at least tries to find, a solution to these problems; We help our families. However, I must admit that one of the most desperate situations I have faced is; Towards the end of the family interviews, "uncle doctor, we don't eat at all, what are we going to do??" is the question. In the face of this question, we think of the sentence "if the growth and development is normal, there is no problem" when we return to the 4th year of the medical faculty with a reflex of medicine. However, if we think about it a little bit, we realize that the problem is a big picture based on the mother-child relationship.
As a law of nature, every living thing sees feeding its young as its primary duty. Thanks to this natural instinct, the mother wants her child to be fed and developed in the best way possible. However, this situation can sometimes become the only duty of motherhood and disrupt the mother-child relationship. The child, who cannot understand that hunger and fullness is a physiological feeling, often perceives food as an external object. Children, just like adults, work in a systematic way, and the feeling of hunger and satiety works to maintain the usual course as a part of this system. Even in infancy, the baby, who is full, shows that he is full by turning his head in the other direction from the direction of the breast or formula. However, many mothers think that their child does not get enough food; he tries to make the child get more food by forcibly opening his jaw, squeezing his nose, turning the food into a game. It has only one goal. “Feeding your child well”. After a point, this target returns to the vicious scene that we all know as classical. Parents who run after the child with a plate in their hands and play all kinds of jokes for him to have a bite; The boy who demands bribes to eat a bite of food.
Well, we have identified the problem, good, but what should be the solution? As I mentioned above, the answer to this question is not very easy. However, the solution should start with the most basic problem. It is to teach the child the feelings of hunger and satiety. Just as every person's appetite is different, every child's eating pattern is also different. At this point, our families should show patience, open the time between meals and It is waiting for the child to demand to eat.
The first step is passed or the next… Our child was hungry and wanted to eat. The problem is not solved unfortunately. How and where to eat? This is really one of the biggest problems in our families today. Enjoying hamburgers or french fries for hours in front of the TV, or if you don't like the vegetable dish, order from the burrito on the corner. I'm sure it doesn't sound good. At this point, just like other house rules, every family should have a meal rule and culture. Meeting working parents at the same table for three meals is inconsistent with reality, but at least dinner time should be set at home and all family members should meet around that table. While this role model has a positive effect on our children's eating behavior, it also has irreplaceable benefits in family relationships.
Let's go step by step… We sat at the table and we have dinner time, but our child did not want the food placed on the plate or took a couple of spoons and left the table… I think the key sentence here should be “parents should decide what to eat at the table, but how much The child should decide what to eat”. At this point, new approaches are to serve children from the age of 6-7 on their own plate. We, as parents, are tasked with presenting choices. The child will decide how much to eat. If he can, he will take it to his plate. Another rule that we parents will set is how long we will stay at the table. Instead of "don't get up until you finish your meal", the warning "you decide how much of your meal you will eat, but we will stay at the table until everyone has eaten" may be more appropriate.
The active participation of the child in the cooking process is an important point in solving eating problems. It may even be necessary to start with the shopping list. The list made by asking his/her opinion shows that the child's ideas are valued. However, we should not ignore the fact that you will have the last word on this matter. Going shopping together and completing the list will increase the motivation of the child about food. It is an undeniable fact that taking help from our child, bringing the materials and asking him to do some simple operations, by taking his age into consideration while preparing a meal, will have positive effects on both the eating behavior and the parent-child relationship. Eating behavior is a very important part of our lives from the first day to the last. If we put aside many physiological and psychological disorders that affect eating and eating, our children tend to apply what they see from the family. When we complain that "my child is not eating at all", looking in the mirror seems like the best way to solve the problem. It is certain that conflict, punishment, aggressive attitudes only make things worse. The main thing is to solve the problem before it turns into a problem, to feed our child regularly from the day of birth without ignoring the hunger-fullness mechanism, needs and wishes. Stay healthy and informed….
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