The grape darkens by looking at the grape.
Tell me your friend and I will tell you who you are.
The one who sleeps with the blind will become cross-eyed.
I'm sure you can think of many more similar statements. . More or less, we have all experienced that these are true in our lives. But what is the mechanism of this and why does this happen? Empathy, that is, putting ourselves in the other person's shoes, never connotes negativity and is recommended by everyone. The message that empathy is harmless and humane was so emphasized that people began to be harmed by empathy without even realizing it. In order to protect themselves from this damage, they began to develop ingenious escape techniques. It is much easier to explain with examples:
- Well, I don't watch the news anymore, believe me, it makes me feel sad.
- Shall we go on a picnic? I don't want Ahmet to come, but I don't like the man at all, he is very pessimistic.
- Brother, beggars are richer than us, don't have mercy on them, don't give them anything.
People want to stay away from negative news, people, and pathetic people. They started to do their best. The main reason for this is the feeling of pity that they cannot resist and the bad emotions that this feeling arouses, namely stress. Let's come to the question of who contributed most to losing this war.
MIRROR NEURONS.
We can say that mirror neurons are nerve cells that activate when an individual makes a movement or watches someone make the same movement. In other words, the main reason why the news of a child crying over his mother who died in a traffic accident upsets us so much is mirror neurons. It would be wrong to talk only about emotions because another function of mirror neurons is imitation. Is your new work environment too tense? It means that changes in your temperament are imminent. Is your friend very pessimistic? Depending on the time you spend, it's only a matter of time before you start to feel pessimistic. You may not want to be a pessimistic or angry person, but this does not matter at all because the laws of the brain work differently.
The brain says:
- If there is continuity (same workplace / same friend)
- If the intensity is high (everyone is angry/ always traveling with the same friend)
- If enough time is given (at least six months), I WILL CHANGE.
In some people, this change (whether emotion or behavior) level) is sometimes so intense that it affects daily life or gives them a different identity. I know it's not a commonly heard concept, EMPATHES. Can you immediately tell when the other person is lying? Do even people you don't know tell you their troubles? Do you like dreaming?
Suggestions: (Let's use the laws of the brain for the solution.)
1- Resist continuity. Don't stay in the same workplace for a lifetime.
2- Stay away from busyness. Stay away from very pessimistic types.
3- Give yourself time. Change takes time.
4- Do something you enjoy immediately after an event or feeling that bothers you. Do it even if you don't want to. Mirror neurons are especially good with comedy movies.
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