These days, many families are experiencing one of their first exciting times after becoming parents.
Who knows what emotions their little heart is beating with excitement as they take their children to the door of the nursery, kindergarten or primary school for the first time
Who knows what emotions they are beating with? parents think. I wonder if he will like his teacher
? Will they have friends? Will he be successful in his classes? While we are trying to guess what our child is feeling or thinking, sometimes we may not realize that this whole issue is actually our own concern. Because the child knows what loneliness or exclusion is.
He doesn't know.. He doesn't know that not liking his teacher will perhaps alienate him from his education life for life.
It is us adults who make him realize this. However, if we get rid of all these negativities and give him emotional support in the situations he may experience, he will be able to easily overcome all possible difficulties and continue on his way
. Remember that a child's first teacher is his parents. And children develop their coping skills with the emotional and behavioral reactions they receive from their parents. The ability to deal with problems
is also an extension of the child's developing character... In this
article, I wanted to address the concerns of parents about their children's school starting process.
First of all. the process of starting school. There are many articles on this subject and many suggestions... How do we get the child used to school
? Dozens of children crying slobberingly. Dozens of parents whose conscience wouldn't allow it if they turned around and left, or who would get scolded by the teacher if they stayed. In fact, the issue is not how this child will keep quiet (get used to school
), and the purpose of this article is not to give little practical information to parents. This is the issue
why is the child crying? So where does the problem start? The answer is: the problem is the school It doesn't start at the door. Children who have been subjected to excessive
intervention, whose everything is done by those around them, do not know how to enter the school gate
on their own. We want the child who hasn't even had a bed yet to enter the huge building on his own and take lessons. At this point, cries for help begin, observed as separation anxiety. We need to be a little more courageous when raising our children. First
It is important to observe how much the child can do on his own. Of course, our expectations should be parallel to the child's
development. The process the child is going through should be evaluated calmly to see if he/she can cope with the issue at hand. There should be no comparison. Afterwards, one should follow him up to the point where he can do it and support him 'as much as he is not ready to do'. Look, I'm not saying here that he can't do it
because he will probably be able to do it after a while. He just isn't ready to do it.
The secret of how to support him starts here. Children may show different reactions to things they will experience for the first time due to the excitement of the unknown. Because the brain reacts the same way. More precisely
The brain can react more calmly when it encounters events it has experienced before. For this reason
the child should be prepared for what he/she may encounter. Instead of telling him a story, I would ask him what he is most curious about. It will be healthier for the child to start from here.
Then you can find out how he dreams. Let's see if dreams and reality are close to each other
? Because if there is a difference between realities and ideals, as in adults, and if this difference is not reached, the person becomes depressed. In this case, the child may not immediately become depressed. However
He is likely to be disappointed and unhappy. And thus, the child can be given an example of a day that he/she could probably have. And most importantly follow up. How was your day? This question can actually be asked to the child in different ways in the evening. Because what we really want to know is not how many pages of homework he has. What did he experience at school? He may not have experienced anything at all many times.
This is our wish. However, there is something I recommend to my clients. I want parents to ask this question every day. Days, months, maybe even years can pass without any problems. However, if one day a problem actually occurs, as a parent, you will notice a difference in your child, even if it is minimal
. He/she will definitely react differently than the routine reaction every day. Maybe
You may have caught that issue that your child is afraid to talk about, afraid of, or unable to solve.
Again, of course, we do not jump on the child like a panther. Get it monitored. 'monitoring'
monitoring is a very important concept in parenting. And our aim here is to allow the child to solve the part up to the point where he/she can do it; To support him at the point when he is not ready/insufficient.
I told you that you will not find suggestions on how to keep this child quiet in this article. My goal is not to make the child cry.
In summary, it is important for the child to feel his individuality. He/she must complete the work that he/she can do on his/her own, organize, plan and implement. He must discover that he already has power
and be given this opportunity. At this point, you are raising a 'self-confident child', which will be the subject of another article.
And a self-confident child does not cry when starting school.
I wish you a happy school life
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