The ROOT Law dates back to ancient times. Its founder can even be called Hazrat Eve. Our story is familiar, we are a married couple, marriage is not necessary, in fact, it would be more accurate to say that we are a couple. While this couple is at the peak of an intense argument, our gentleman slams the door and leaves the lady at home. If we ask our gentleman: Why did you leave, why did you leave it unfinished, what if you had talked and solved the problem?
-I left so as not to say anything that would break your heart.
-I was so constricted that if I had stayed any longer, I would have drowned.
-I left to avoid saying anything that would break your heart. p>
-I went out to avoid an accident.
-I was very angry, fresh air is good for me, I went out to calm down.
-Everyone I know says that when they get angry, go out and get some fresh air, it will be good. , that's what I did.
Let's continue our story. The gentleman went out and walked in the park. His anger/anxiety subsided a bit, it was quite late. Now it's time to go home!
Our lady, left alone with her anger, is a complete wrathful person, and there is not the slightest decrease in her anger, in fact it has increased.
So my question is this: How come our lady's anger did not calm down? How did he manage to remain angry during this time and even increase it?
There are always multiple answers and components in psychology. Now I am introducing you to the components of the ROOT Law.
1-Lack of empathy.
2-Abandonment, feeling of worthlessness.
3-Exciting friend/mother factor.
4-Feeling of being left unfinished.
5-Using it technically.
1.Lack of Empathy
While our gentleman is wandering around outside, the lady dreams of going to the wedding with her husband's friends and dancing halay with lahmacun! Even though this is not enough, he denies the fact that his wife is also very bored right now and that she is just as sad, misunderstood and overwhelmed as he is. Or he may be sad, but he often tries to keep himself tense by protecting his anger/sadness/anxiety with a comparison such as "I'm more sorry." The reason for trying to keep this tension alive is to provide the energy necessary to kill the fox that will return to the fur shop!
2. Feeling of Abandonment/Worthlessness
Miss The master wants to share and overcome all the emotions he experiences with his wife. It does not matter what the emotion is: fear, anger, anxiety... He himself is this desire. Not being able to find an interlocutor and being left alone with these feelings makes him feel abandoned and worthless. This feeling is one of the main founders of feeling withdrawn or not understood in the long run. I think this must be the most harmful component of the ROOT Law in the long run.
3- The Exciting Friend/Mother Factor
The lady who is stuck at home with her emotions somehow finds herself It needs to be expressed. As you guessed, hugging the phone is the first option that comes to mind. But who will he talk to? If the person he is talking to rubs salt in his wound, things become even more complicated. The lady's thinking ability has been suppressed by her emotions, and she cannot think logically anyway. These negative suggestions, rather than providing relief, increase his/her anxiety/anger.
4.Feeling of Incompleteness
Unfinishedness not only in emotional relationships but also in any relationship/work, The feeling of incompleteness causes serious stress. The classic sentence we often hear from people around us about unfinished business: "Believe me, I can't stand it anymore, let the outcome be whatever it is, positive or negative." This has gone on for too long.'' Imagine if you have sensitive emotional relationships when this is the case even in ordinary daily tasks.
5. Using It Technically
Old aunts to young brides. His famous advice: "A man gets a little angry, girl, look at the angry handling. When they stop, they become like cats. He will listen to your words, do not rush.'' Now our gentleman entered slowly, he calmed down but his wife was able to maintain her anger in various ways. He is standing on the couch with a sullen face, very tense, like an IED (Improvised Explosive Device) ready to explode. And BOOMMM (You can travel, thank God you were able to find your way home!). We have all been taught this since our childhood: "If the other person is angry, don't insist, just go with it. He is already angry, so don't make him even more angry.'' The lady learned that keeping her anger alive after an argument, either through observation or with the guidance of another friend, and using the energy of this anger when her husband calms down and returns home, is a very useful technique. And most of the time, it is a scene where the man takes the woman from below and empties her insides to his heart's content. It can be experienced.
Suggestions:
1-Ladies, your spouses are as sad/depressed as you and feel misunderstood. When they go out to get fresh air, they definitely don't do fun things like dancing halay with lahmacun!
2-Gentlemen, instead of leaving the house, you can go out to the balcony and get fresh air, provided that you don't jump! If you still cannot calm down, you can go out for a SHORT time. To the lady waiting for you at home, half an hour seems like three hours.
3-Ladies, when you are sad, please look for people who approach events positively and calm you down, instead of people who are pessimistic and generally give negative advice. When negative emotions prevail, you may regret it later. Be careful, you may follow advice that you would not normally accept! (Gentlemen, get along well with your spouse's friends and your mother-in-law. Get them gifts or something. You will be surprised to see that they will become volunteer firefighters!)
4-Leaving things unfinished always makes people nervous. You can agree to talk about the problematic issue two days later. Do not postpone it, it does not resolve itself.
5-Ladies, do not keep your anger alive for tactical purposes. Gentlemen who are reading this article, wake up!
Summary: Don't just rush out, they'll make a man lose his temper!
*An article created entirely as a result of observation.
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