It is a known fact that sexuality is very important for both women and men. When we look at the literature and examine the parameters related to sexuality, it is known that sexuality and sexual intercourse do not have a vital function individually, let alone the function of ensuring the continuation of the species, but are a basic component that constitutes the quality of life of people. This is a fact that is valid for both women and men. For women, depending on experience, sexuality is sometimes a pleasant, warm intimacy, and sometimes it is experienced as a source of hesitation and even disgust due to necessity.
First of all, if we briefly look at the sexual development of women; We can state that biological sex is determined from the moment of conception. The most important event in childhood is the emergence of sexual identity. It has been proven by many theories that the emphasis on gender in childhood affects people in adulthood. At the end of childhood, with adolescence, the process of sexual differentiation and awareness begins. During this period, the adolescent tries to learn about sexuality from every source he finds. Obtaining correct sexual information during this period is very essential for sexual development.
The culture, religious beliefs, value judgments of the society, and the wrong information and beliefs of the society about sexuality affect the individual's perspective on sexuality. While sexuality should be a private phenomenon experienced only between two people, today it includes many social factors. One of the most important reasons why there are so many problems about this issue is that it is not experienced privately; It is a social phenomenon and it is experienced under the pressure of cultural impositions. In other words, the indicators of male dominance are also reflected in female sexuality, and sexuality becomes a constitutive component of the social positions of women and men.
The differences between men and women are not only biological, physiological or psychological, but also cultural. Characteristics often attributed to men or women have a defined place in culture. The concept called "gender culture", which includes concepts such as sex, gender and sexuality, is a collective It includes the qualifications and evaluations regarding sexuality within the scope of the term. It refers to a very broad field that includes the definitions of men or women in a society, their behavioral patterns, gender-based identities, the behavior of the sexes towards each other, attitudes, marriage customs, and family types. It is not possible for people to remain insensitive to these values while living their lives, because the value judgments of the society they live in are internalized while growing up, and it is preferred to live in accordance with them in our future lives (since it is easier for people). In other words, sexuality plays an important role in women's lives as a phenomenon that both affects and is affected by the social sphere. A woman's sexuality is greatly affected by the environment and norms in which she and her partner exist.
The role expected from a woman in a patriarchal society is to preserve purity. Children, who learn what their own bodies mean to their families when they are very young, learn that they must protect them meticulously. Parents who approach their son by asking him to show them to him, react even when his daughter accidentally opens a part of him. The son or daughter also internalizes this norm, which is considered normal because their parents grew up that way. She is informed explicitly or indirectly that she must be sensitive about her own body, protect it, or if she cannot protect it herself, share this control with a man. These girls suppress their natural sexual desires even after they become adults. Sexual interests and relationships all reveal guilt and shame from childhood. Sexuality, which is associated with shame, causes the woman to perceive sexuality as shame. The social elements added to this basis determine women's sexuality and sexual behavior.
Women's relationships with their own bodies are negative not only in our society but in many modern societies. While a man discovers how to enjoy his body at a very early age, most women are born, grow, give birth and die without discovering how to enjoy their body. Women are expected not to want sex, just to respond. Women avoid saying what they find sexually arousing in men They hesitate to take active attitudes that will increase their pleasure.
The meaning of sexuality is quite different for women in modern societies. While women are focused on experiencing sexuality relationally, men are more focused on pleasure. In other words, women tend to experience sexual intercourse as a whole that includes love, compassion and desire. Therefore, their focus is not on pleasure alone, but rather on the relationship they are in and how they feel in the relationship. If we go from this focus again; Women's attitude and style that integrates sexual intercourse is a source of potential that will help them experience sexuality more satisfactorily. However, most women cannot fully use this resource. Of course, there is a paradox brought about by this situation; Since emotional closeness is more important for women, they reflect their feelings such as anger, resentment or disappointment in their sexual relationships, and this negatively affects their sexual functions.
Concerning sexuality in our country Looking at the general situation, we can say that the place of women in society is determined by their sexual inexperience. In order for a woman to be sexually valuable, loveable and marriageable in the eyes of men and society, she must be "honest". Rewarding sexual inexperience towards this woman also results in punishing sexual experience. The issue I want to come to from here is not the cases of femicide or suicide of young women; I think these facts are too important to be glossed over between the lines. The impact of this situation on female sexuality; It is to intimidate other women. Preventing a woman from having a relationship with the person of her choice creates a repressed female sexuality. If we go from this focus again, one of the most important problems for female sexuality is that female sexuality is not focused on "pleasure". Sexual pleasure is necessary and important for women as well as men. It is very important for healthy individuals, healthy relationships, healthy marriages and a healthy society to experience female sexuality in the way it deserves.
Studies show that 30-60% of women have problems in their lives. It has been determined that there was at least one sexual problem during the game. It is one of the other issues that have been determined that women have the most problems with desire and arousal. When we consider the source of this, we see that the issues mentioned above are also effective.
Since the subject is sexuality and sexual problems, although a distinction such as biological-psychological is made primarily, this situation should be looked at in a multi-disciplinary manner. It will be healthier. Approaching with a bio-psycho-social model is essential for both diagnosis and treatment. When sexual problems are evaluated, it is seen that psycho-social reasons play the most role. We can frame psychological reasons as pressures from people's past lives or problems with their partner. Social reasons are mostly the constraints caused by social norms and the inadequacy of sexual education.
Sexual problems are actually important problems that affect many individuals and the general society. Being more sensitive to these, trying to stretch our norms a little more, and seeing sexuality as an issue between two individuals will help reduce the problem. We should not forget that; “Sexuality is not between our legs, but between our ears (Zildberg).”
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