Every person has certain behaviors that they expect from the person in front of them. Parents
expect their child to get high grades and tidy their room. Spouses expect
support from each other. Adults wait to be asked about their status. Children expect their parents to buy toys. If today is our birthday, we expect a celebration
. So, is the expectation limited to these only? Let's look a little deeper.
When we look at the sky, if the sky is dark and cloudy, we expect it to rain
soon. As we enter June, we expect the weather to be warmer. Sometimes these expectations
are met, sometimes not. While the emotions we show
in the expectations that are met change, we are likely to experience anger or disappointment in the expectations that are not met.
Especially the anger we feel towards children may be caused by the fact that our expectations
towards them are not met. The child we expected to get a high grade
did not get the grade we expected, the child we expected to go to bed early at night
passed the clock, the child kept running
even though we expected him to be quiet when we had a headache. These are all situations that make us angry and make us
reflect anger towards the child.
Take a look when you feel unhappy and restless; What was your expectation/what
did you want to happen/what did you want to happen? Say them out loud. Realize the reason for the
emotion you feel, the reason why your expectations were frustrated. Were your expectations
realistic? Were the prospects possible? Is the other person
in a position to meet what we expect from him?
Not every anger, not every disappointment is caused by unrealistic expectations, but
our unrealistic expectations make us angry and/or disappointed
can create. This anger we feel can come out in a way that hurts others.
Frustration can hurt us. I think we can reduce these anger and disappointments by keeping our expectations more realistic. We can do this best by increasing our awareness on this issue
. we can.
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