The relationship of spouses in married life is similar to the father-son relationship: there are mutual responsibilities (it would be appropriate to read the article "Father"). Two important traumatic events that undermine the foundation of the institution of marriage and cause it to collapse are: infidelity and domestic violence. The act of cheating is not accepted or welcomed in any of the humanitarian, social, cultural, moral, religious and ideological aspects.
We can consider cheating individuals in two categories. On the one hand, there are those who regret the act of cheating and who are in conflict with themselves because of this, who describe their experiences as "I made a mistake", "I followed the devil", "I did injustice to my sweet spouse, I regret it very much", "How unscrupulous I am"... . It is hoped that these individuals will not exhibit the same negative attitude again and they deserve to be forgiven.
On the other hand, there are individuals who have no regrets after the deception behavior and act consciously, and some common characteristics can be observed in them.
>It may not be fair to put both categories of cheating spouses in the same category, to evaluate them as "after all, they cheated on their spouses, there is nothing to look at" and to give the same emotional reactions.
Individuals who have no regrets and see cheating as a "right" They may continue to cheat repeatedly. Most of the time, not only does he cheat on his wife, he also cheats on his partner during the cheating, and dirty laundry is usually revealed during this period and a crisis breaks out. The cheating man expresses that he sees cheating as a "right": "A man is a womanizer/libertine", "One cannot be satisfied with one thing"... and tries to justify himself with words such as "it is the dirt of a man's hand", "honey must be collected from every flower"... enters. In cheating women, the idea of revenge is often at the forefront. There are statements such as "he also cheated on me" or "if only he had done his male duties properly". After all, the person is right in his own way and does not regret what he did. Unfortunately, the cultural values of the society (“men have affairs, don't they”), mother/father as a role model (“my father/mother also cheated on his wife) and environmental provocateurs (encouragement of friends and relatives) also contribute to this mindset.
There is a significant amount of narcissism/selfishness. you are yourself While it is right for a man to cheat, if his wife cheats, it is considered a "case of honor" for the man and a reason for divorce for the woman. The thought "I do not accept being cheated on, I cannot be cheated on" is a constant.
While the approach towards the cheated spouse is rude, disciplined and accountable, the approach towards the cheating partner is loving, understanding, giving and compassionate. What a coincidence that the spouse at home has sacrificed his personality/identity/roles and ignored himself towards the cheating person. For example, the cuckolded woman may have "brushed up her hair", devoted herself to all the responsibilities of the house, been both mother and father to her children, but has lost her feminine characteristics towards her husband (does not take personal care, does not care about adornment, etc.) or is able to stand upright on her feet/take initiative when necessary. She is a woman who has ceased to be an individual. The cheater is dependent on the man and is seen as "a piece of cake" in the eyes of the man. The partner woman is; She is a woman who "doesn't mind getting hair out of her nose", who is difficult to satisfy, who is at risk of losing her at any moment, and whose feminine characteristics (beautiful, well-groomed and sexy) are at the forefront. Similar contrasts also apply to men who have been cheated on.
While responsibilities towards the cheated spouse are made out of necessity (“he is the mother/father of my child, that's why I look at his face”), there are no obligatory responsibilities towards the other partner and all means are available to keep him. is mobilized (he buys the dress for his wife out of necessity and gives his credit card to his partner without asking for an account).
If the cheated spouse stands up a little bit and asks for an account, violence (physical, psychological, economic) is his share. If the partner asks for an account, the cheating person will turn into a sheep that has spilled milk.
Although cheating individuals experience temporary happiness, they cannot achieve permanent peace. Especially if some losses (health, economic, etc.) occur with aging, they experience emotional devastation.
Whenever the partner kicks out the cheating person or the cheating person is incapable of continuing the cheating behavior, the return is to the cheated spouse. . For this reason, at the end of long-term cheating processes, cheating individuals have no expectations from their partner and have no feelings towards their cheating spouse. They end the process without feeling embarrassed (the ox dies, the partnership breaks down).
Another aspect of cheating behavior is this: cross addictions, which are sometimes seen in drug patients (a patient who is addicted to a substance has a high risk of becoming addicted to another substance). There may be cross-cheating: just as he cheats on his wife in his married life, he cheats on his customers in business, does not keep his word in social life, and the oath he takes has no effect. In short, he not only cheats on his wife, but also deceives the society, and most importantly, he is the one who is deceived, but he does not know it.
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