If you have to "react" to any event, person or situation
you are screwed. But we should not forget that there is a "response" to be given to any event, person or situation
. In other words, responding without reacting will take us one step ahead in communication.
One of the points that should be emphasized most in communication is "mind-language harmony"... You know
We have an expression: "Can you hear what you say?" What is actually meant is
“Have you filtered what you said through your mind?” Isn't it?
A person who has problems with mind-language harmony is in an environment where
he may be exposed to all kinds of dangers. Mind-language harmony, in a sense, functions as antivirus programs. And
brains that do not have an antivirus program cannot fight thought viruses
their brains explode in a very short time.
In a sense, learning is from what a person knows to what he does not know. The process of going right
mind-language harmony is learned over time. The best way to achieve mind-language harmony
is the comparison method. Life has such a complex structure that we have to understand these complexities as much as possible and simplify them as much as possible so that everyone can understand them. We must be careful not to trivialize while simplifying.
One of the purposes of education is to open the mind. A person's mind will not open unless he/she is motivated. There are many ways to motivate a person, but they are basically based on one principle
. “Raising expectations…” Keeping expectations low, in a sense, means
inviting primitiveness and simplicity.
Sometimes we have the misfortune of using words that come to the tip of our tongue. We should stay away from words that come to the tip of our tongue. In a sense, the words that come to the tip of our tongue are
the most primitive and simple side of us. We will have made the speech that we will regret the most throughout our lives.
In communication, it is necessary to empathize as quickly as possible. However, we should not confuse empathy with sympathy
. You sit and cry with the person in front of you We are a very sympathetic person
. If we can stop the other person from crying or turn this crying into an advantage
, it means we understand what empathy means.
They say the greatest victory is to defeat the enemy without fighting. In order to turn the negativities that will reflect on us, our environment and our society into an advantage without fighting, we need to know very well what kind of structure the people we are in communication with have.
Some people are very angry. You can't get close to those people, but some of them are.
The closer you stay, the closer you are to the solution.
So, how do we follow all this? Should we take action? Should we take a step back?
Should we look the other person in the eye? Should we look at our feet... Trying to experience all of this in detail
may drive us crazy. So what to do?
Generalizations are one of the most important ways to learn. For example, there are three types of people in communication: Adaptable person, difficult person, cowardly person. We cannot give the same responses to all three of these.
Their reactions will be very different. We must develop methods accordingly. But how can we understand these
people? Of course, we will benefit from our knowledge and experience.
But what we mean is important here. While we benefit from experiences
we will not fall victim to generalizations. To sum up, no matter how many problems we encounter
there are so many different solutions. And determining a position in the face of situations
will help us get the best result.
Most of us know that Bruce Lee brought a very different and important approach to martial arts.
He According to him, the first principle of fighting is not to confront your opponent, but rather to move with him and redirect his energy. There are three types of people: Difficult person, Adaptable person, cowardly person... The most difficult person to communicate with is the "difficult person". Difficult people are constantly asking "Why?" The moment I started not to be bothered by people asking, is the moment I realized that I was one of them. The real hard part is communicating with cowardly people. He looks at you while he's acting like, huh, yeah, of course, to your face You have been stabbed in the back.
All we have to do is get them out of their hiding hole. It is to approach all
alternatives in communication very well and cautiously
to develop a positive approach.
Let's move on to our second part:
There are some words that We should never use it on anyone.
Come here!
You wouldn't understand!
Because those are the rules!
It's none of your business!
So what should I do about it!
Keep Calm!
What's wrong with you?
You've never........or You've always.........
I told you so.
I won't say it again.
I'm doing this for your good.
Why don't you be reasonable?
Now, when these words are looked at in broad outline, "My dear, there are places where these can be used too." "It can be thought." But rest assured that if we remove these words from our lives, we will not lose anything
. We can even make breakthroughs in our communication with people. These words are
the most primitive form of communication. Using it as a joke, I don't know how much
it would change our perspective, but?... These were the words that disturbed me the most in my life. Of course, not using these words yourself
does not solve the problem. We must develop different alternatives to people who use these words.
I have listed my approaches on this issue below:
Now I ask you: “Come here!” but rather “Excuse me, I need to talk to you for a minute
.” Tell me, what would we lose from our authority if we said this? If someone uses such a style
to us, we ask "Why?" Don't we ask?
If we say to a person, "You don't understand!" This probably means hitting that person in the heart (even if he/she doesn't understand anything about that subject). Instead: “........... this may take a little
difficulty to understand, let me try to explain.” How much does saying soften the environment and make it positive
? If someone makes such a statement to us: "You explain it, I'm sure I will understand it, I want to do something about it." we say.
“Because those are the rules!” It is the word that people find most offensive. reason for the rule Asking
is the most natural right of the person you are in communication with. We take the same approach to someone who tells us that.
“It's none of your business!” Word is the worst form of abuse. If someone says that to us, we say it concerns
and explain why.
Another sentence that is most used in communication and whose use has equally negative consequences: “Okay. , what should I do about this? Instead: “I'm sorry I really don't know what to tell you or advise, I wish I did. I would like to help
but I can't.” Saying this will put the other person at ease. If someone
says this to us, “I want you to listen to me and help me.” We start explaining by saying
.
“Calm down!” His words are enough to infuriate someone who might be calm. Instead of this statement
The best thing would be to tell him/her that everything will be okay, that he/she should talk to you, and try to find out what the problem is
. If someone tells you to calm down and you don't calm down, the best thing to do is to leave.
“What's your problem?” His words are also very rude. Instead, it would be better to try to find out what the problem is. If someone tells us this, it will be enough to say that this is not a problem,
It is an issue that needs to be talked about and solved.
Generalizations are approaches that often cause serious problems. The best thing to do is to stay away from generalizations.
Even if a negativity is usually the case, if we want to resolve it, we must use the concretization method.
“I won't say it again.” It already shows from the beginning that it is not an honest statement.
There are other ways to be serious. It would be better to emphasize that what you say is very important
.
“I'm doing this for your own good.” Even though we really make the promise for his own good, it is a very disturbing approach.
If what we do is for his own good, there is no need to say this.
If the person in front of us is someone who cannot understand this, there is no chance of him/her understanding it even if we say this.
“Why don't you be logical?” is one of the words that hinder communication. It is necessary to stay away
.
Above, we briefly talked about the words we should never say to the people we are in contact with and
how we should act when such a word is said.
The key to communication is not to exhibit the same attitude towards everyone or every event. . It is best to evaluate everyone as an individual and approach them accordingly. Sincerity and sincerity
are indispensable. And most importantly, knowing how to dance where we stumble.
From now on, we will be closer to each other with Doktortakvimi.com... Stay healthy in order to understand and
explain...
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