The period between the ages of 2-3 is very important for the development of the child. During this period, the child's development is very rapid and the child begins to act more independently. With toilet training, children gradually want to have more control in areas such as eating and dressing. During this period, children begin to say "No" to their parents' requests, insist on doing what they want, and go against the rules. For this reason, conflicts may arise between the child and the parents during this period. In this period, it is necessary to set clear and consistent boundaries in the relationship with the child, but not to be oppressive and stubborn with the child. No matter how much the child opposes the boundaries, consistent boundaries make him feel safe. A child who cannot set sufficient and appropriate limits will experience anxiety.
Since it is very important for the child to have control during this period, the persistent and oppressive attitude of his parents will make the child feel bad. It should not be forgotten that the child is stubborn in order to assert himself as an individual separate from his parents, and his independent behavior should be supported as much as possible. Offering the child options within certain limits and ensuring that he/she has control over these options will be useful in dealing with stubbornness.
During this period, it is not appropriate not to be stubborn with the child and to make every request so that the child does not cry. Parents should first express to the child that they understand him/her, explain why they set such a limit, and offer him/her a choice. Explaining the reason for the rule to the child will make the child feel valuable and will help reduce stubbornness. However, it is necessary to be determined and calm when setting boundaries, to show the same determined attitude in every stubbornness, and parents must be consistent among themselves regarding boundaries. It should not be forgotten that the angry child needs time to calm down and control himself. The calm and determined attitude of the parents will not only help the child calm down, but will also help him/her learn the limits.
A method frequently used by most parents to deal with a child who goes against the rules. The method is to distract the child and make him interested in something else. However, a child treated in this way will not be able to learn boundaries and may think that he is being deceived by his parents. Additionally, to distract the child after a negative behavior, "Let's go to the park", "Let's eat ice cream", etc. Offers can also be a reward that reinforces negative behavior for the child. For this reason, this method should not be preferred unless necessary.
During this period, children go to the park, nursery, etc. They also begin to socialize in various ways. Although they show interest in their peers, this is short-lived and they mostly prefer to play on their own. One of the important features of this period is that children have difficulty sharing the things they love. A child who has difficulty sharing may also try to use violence against his friends from time to time. In such a case, the child should be removed from that environment and the child should be briefly explained why they were removed from there and why they took a break from the game. Before the next meeting with his friends, the child should be reminded that the game will end when he hits his friends.
Although children begin to socialize during this period, it is normal for them to become anxious in environments outside the home and behave differently than at home because they want to get more attention. The child may want to stay in his parents' arms because he needs protection in a foreign environment. In such a situation, not being understanding to the child will increase his anxiety even more and make him feel worthless. The child should be allowed to be held until he/she gets used to the new environment and the child's anxiety decreases.
Parents should not forget that this period that their children experience is a temporary period, and most of the negative behaviors the child shows are related to the developmental period they are in.
Read: 0
