Before we start talking about the authority that children know or do not know, it is necessary to look at the word meaning of authority: Authority, or in other words authority, literally means the obedience and trust that a person provides to himself by convincing everyone in the sufficiency of something on any subject; the power to dominate and command; It is defined as the power to impose and use sanctions.
As can be understood from its definition, in order to accept a person or a community or a science and implement what is said, as experienced by individuals of all ages, that person is effective and competent in his field, his knowledge is reliable, We need to trust and believe in the consistency of his words. While this is the case in the adult world, the process works the same way in the children's world. In normal processes, except for situations such as a developmental disorder or being affected by any disease, the child must similarly trust and believe in the adult in order to fulfill or listen to the adult's statements, that is, to recognize your authority. Since authority sounds harsh as a word, it can be misperceived as acting negatively or constantly saying no. However, we can describe what is desired and intended as the consistency of the adult, acting correctly in the right place, correcting or directing the wrongs correctly, and being accepted while doing this.
Today, the situation of not recognizing authority generally arises from communication or behavioral errors on the part of the adult. Adults may underestimate or sometimes even ignore children's world. The most fundamental mistake is that children think they are being deceived, but the adult only deceives himself without realizing it. In fact, in the adult world, we believe it to be true with expressions such as "Are you deceiving the child?", "It's like taking candy from the child's hand..." and we put it into practice by using it in examples. As can be understood from these sentences, the fact that children do not yet have physically adult bodies or measurements does not mean that they do not understand you, or that they cannot resist you does not mean that they do not understand you. Just as we, as adults, are obviously physically strong, children are also strong-willed. They understand logical mistakes easily and think quickly. a Just because they cannot express to you what they understand does not change the fact that they understand it. For this reason, it is important to be honest and reasonable with children in our communication, in situations we want or do not want to be done. Adults often think that they will solve the process quickly and do not explain to the child, do not tell the truth, ignore it, or ignore it when they are hesitant about managing the situation. Since experiencing such situations disrupts honest and healthy communication, it can actually lead to the child's trust being shaken, and therefore not listening to the adult anymore, or not doing what they say even if he listens.
Another basic mistake made is, especially in the 5-6 year old period. We are more able to express what we do not want children to do, rather than what is wanted from them. for example; I tell the child I want to sit on the chair, don't run. So when you say don't run, do you actually want the child to sit or play with his toys? no of course. In fact, our children often become disobedient and naughty children because we do not share what we want or what we want for. For this reason, it is healthier to express as clearly as possible what we want from children and why we want it. On the other hand, when thinking about why children do not listen to us, we may not actually be interested in what the children do. For example, a child who is busy playing with his toys calls his mother to come to him. He calls three or four times and the child does not come. Then we get angry, wondering why he doesn't come, doesn't he hear me or doesn't he care? So, what is my child doing at this time? Do I care about him? Do I know what he is doing now? We can make communication selfish in a way. Therefore, my priority would be to see what the child is doing, take care of him first, and then convey what I want. What are you doing before calling a child playing with his cars to come to me? You are playing with your cars, now park your car and come to me, I have something I want to tell you or there is something I want to show you, when you act as a guide, the tension of the environment is not disturbed and it facilitates harmony.
In this process, the texture is maintained. Another situation that would be useful to be aware of is that the uncontrolled use of electronics such as televisions and tablets disrupts communication and poses a problem. Uncontrolled electronic use makes it challenging to maintain authority. Determining a time period by agreement in this regard will ensure that the child knows what is expected from him and that he will comply even if he does not want to when the time expires. Nowadays, there are channels that broadcast cartoons 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Therefore, giving priority to the child's loved ones, a tolerance of up to 1 hour may be allowed for the 5-6 age group. Determining the duration will facilitate compliance.
Despite regulating communication and attitudes, situations may arise where no results can be achieved. When faced with such a situation, it can only be interpreted as the child being spoiled. Sometimes there may be accompanying psychological, neurological or developmental problems that may not be noticed. It is always our preference for parents who have difficulties in this regard to receive expert support. It should not be forgotten that being a parent is a skill that is learned later. Based on the slogan of "first do no harm", which is the most basic health philosophy, it is necessary to focus on "how can I be more beneficial to my child" instead of harming our children. The right approach always saves lives. As information is shared, it increases and becomes more meaningful. In cases where it is not known how to act, expert support should be sought. Being a parent is a learned art. Hoping to have healthy growing generations with our children, who are our works of art…
Read: 0
