First of all, we need to know about personality; Every person has a pattern of certain personality traits, and personality traits range from healthy/normal levels to pathological levels. The narcissistic personality discussed in this article is related to both healthy and more maladaptive narcissistic personality. Personality issues are topics that are discussed in great detail and in depth in many aspects. In these articles, the subject has been tried to be explained by touching on the most basic points.
Narcissistic personality, in its most summary form, is a personality pattern defined for people who often need external approval and are very self-loving. In narcissism, which is seeing oneself as greater than others and being too preoccupied with self-esteem; The prominent thought is 'I am special', and the prominent behavior is exaggerating its importance (Köroğlu and Bayraktar, 2010). Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by grandiosity, preoccupation with dreams such as power, intelligence, success and beauty, believing that one is unique and more special than other people, excessive desire to be admired, entitlement, lack of empathy, acting according to one's own interests, not respecting others, thinking that one is envied and being jealous. It is a personality pattern that includes at least five such characteristics. Criteria for the diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder are clearly defined in the DSM (American Psychiatric Association, DSM - 5, 2014).
Normal and pathological narcissism have been discussed by analysts such as Freud for a long time. We may think that the condition called normal narcissism actually represents a healthy part of us that exists in every person. Loving yourself like most people, self-esteem, and enjoying being liked by other people, of course in a healthy dose, represent healthy narcissism. In pathological narcissism, a person may be unhappy when he cannot receive approval and attention. For this reason, compared to healthy narcissism, an individual with pathological narcissism can easily experience narcissistic damage and get hurt.
Among the reasons related to narcissism, fixation on the grandiose mode in infancy and early traumas are frequently mentioned (McWilliams, 2013). When we look at the formation theories regarding narcissism, we see that family models are emphasized. Face Don't be an adulterated child; A childhood history of no or few boundaries may be a source of narcissism. Another explanation for narcissism is the model of children being raised dependent. Accordingly, every need of the child was met immediately and the child did not experience any distress. For this reason, this child has reflected into adulthood that other people are only people who meet his own needs. Another children's model is; He is a neglected and lonely child. In this case, the love given to the child was generally based on performance. This child was able to receive love from the family only when he approached the best (Behary, trans. Caner and Azizlerli, 2014). The adult who develops narcissism can be thought of as a “narcissistic extension” of the family during childhood. Of course, every child is actually a narcissistic extension of his family to a healthy extent. However, the narcissistic extension situation experienced by the narcissistic individual during childhood; In fact, it is understood by his family that his personality is not important and that he is valued for his achievements (McWilliams, 2013). As can be seen, much emphasis is placed on parental attitudes and object relations in the formation of the narcissistic personality. However, it should not be forgotten that, although psychological reasons are more effective, when we look holistically, biopsychosocial reasons often play a role in the formation of personality.
It becomes easier to recognize narcissistic personality from certain sentences both in our daily life as an individual and in clinical interviews as a clinician. It is noteworthy that narcissistic people often make sentences starting with 'I and the best' or use sentences containing these words, related to their thoughts of being special. The narcissistic individual easily idealizes himself and enters into grandiose modes. The narcissistic individual can show himself with sentences such as "I am very good at this, I graduated from these universities, Thanks to me, I did it, I don't need anyone, I go to the best place, I find the best doctor, the best school..." >
The narcissistic person can trigger different emotions and thoughts in the individual. To put it in schema language; The narcissistic person may trigger the following schemas in the other person: self-sacrifice, submissiveness, abandonment, imperfection, repression of emotions, emotional deprivation, high standards, abuse. For example, a person married to a narcissist may often feel at fault and act submissively. On the other hand, distinct schemas directly related to narcissism are mentioned. However, instead of directly touching their schemas, narcissists fight their schemas or try to overcompensate. From this perspective, schemas related to narcissism; emotional deprivation, skepticism, culpability/shame, submissiveness, entitlement, inadequate self-control, approval-seeking, and high standards. According to these schemas, the narcissistic person may actually be ashamed of himself at an unconscious level and may not love himself. He may think that no one will love him as he is (Behary, trans. Caner and Azizlerli, 2014). As a result of overcompensation for the narcissistic person's schemas related to loneliness and shame, an excessive desire to be admired occurs. He exalts himself with narcissistic defenses and copes with the underlying themes such as intense deficiency, powerlessness or loneliness and shame by devaluing others.
At the core of the narcissistic personality, feelings of shame about himself and feelings of envy towards others are at the forefront (McWilliams, 2013). The narcissistic person is thought to have fundamentally serious feelings of inadequacy and inferiority about himself. At this point, the feeling of shame comes into play. The individual overcompensates for this feeling and exhibits narcissistic behavior. When the narcissistic person sees that other people do not have his own shortcomings or sees someone with more sufficient qualities than him, feelings of envy come into play. In other words, when he thinks that there is someone better or more competent than him, his underlying inadequacy may be reinforced. This situation reveals the envy in the narcissistic personality.
When we look at it in terms of defense mechanisms, the most basic defense in narcissistic people is devaluation. In addition, the narcissistic person also uses defense mechanisms such as idealization, perfectionism, and projection. In some sources, it is stated that the narcissistic person's most frequently used defense mechanisms are idealization and devaluation, and that when the narcissistic person idealizes himself, he devalues the other person (McWilliams, 2013). clinical trial The defenses of the narcissistic person can be clearly seen in the messages. The narcissistic person may devalue a person he or she envies and cope with his/her underlying inadequacy. For example, he may say to his colleague, whom he believes is superior to him and for which he is jealous, "He always makes things long and can't do a job." Another example is the narcissistic personality experiencing narcissistic injury. It can be seen that he often uses devaluation of his abandoned lover with expressions such as "He was already inadequate, ... he was someone, I was far superior to him."
Narcissistic people may deny their feelings of gratitude, gratitude or regret (McWilliams, 2013). Apologizing or thanking someone else is challenging for the narcissistic individual. Therefore, they may try to avoid apologizing or saying thank you. It is possible to see this situation in the narcissistic people we come into contact with in our daily lives.
As can be seen, narcissism can be listed in a wide range between healthy and maladaptive. While only narcissistic reactions can be seen in some individuals, narcissistic features can be seen in certain doses (less or more) in others. If the person's narcissistic characteristics cause social functional impairment and of course the person meets the diagnostic criteria, this is defined as narcissistic personality disorder. It seems that themes such as inadequacy, inadequacy, and shame underlie every narcissistic personality seen on different sides of the spectrum. In general, pathological narcissistic people can only seek therapy after a hurtful event or serious psychological injury. If the therapist acts as a healthy and patient parent to the wounded side of the narcissistic person who wants to be involved in the therapy process, the likelihood of continuity and benefit from therapy may increase. In terms of therapy methods to be used when working with narcissistic personality in the clinic, methods such as cognitive behavioral and schema therapies, and EMDR for traumatic memories can be effective. Regardless of which therapy school and method is preferred, patience plays an important role in the characteristics of the therapist who will work with narcissistic personality.
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